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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Airlines Suck

Yesterday's flight to Suck Diego was one of the bottom 5 flights evar.

The misery began, as it often does, at the ticket counter. I recently made United Premier, which means that they have killed me slowly on enough planes that I get certain perks. One such perk is that I don't have to check in with the rest of you idiots. I get my own line. I'm sure they think it's a great idea, but not when the Premier line is longer than the commoner line. So, I got in the commoner line... well it wasn't so much a line as it was walking right up to the counter and checking in. So, I'm standing there waiting for the counter guy to put that sticky bar code thingy on my bag. But he's just kinda staring at me. Then it went something like this:

"Yes, sir?"
"I want to check this bag."
"Use the machine here."
"I did. Here's my boarding pass."
"There's nothing back here. Did you pay the baggage fee?"
"I don't have to. I'm Premier."
"The Premier check-in is over there."
"I know. But there's a line. This way could've been faster."
"Well you didn't check in right, then."
At this point he started treating some other passenger like an idiot. So, I interrupted him:
"Are you going to check my bag?"
"You need to check in. The Premier line is over there."
"I AM checked in! Here's my boarding pass."
"Did you pay the fee?"
"I DON'T HAVE TO I'M PREMIER."

Hearing the ruckus, this idiot's boss came over. "The printer's jammed."

I got no apology for this guy talking to me like I'm an idiot. I should have demanded that he be publicly executed.

So, then my flight was delayed 3 or 4 times. So that was lame.

Then I get my (window) seat. I boarded pretty quickly (I'm Premier, remember) and was just lulled into a false sense of security when the other people in my row showed up. There was a lady in the middle seat with a baby, then a little girl in the next seat, the across the aisle, another lady and a baby. They suggested I trade seats with the other lady and baby but the flight attendant wouldn't let us because there are only 4 oxygen masks for every 3 seats.

Anyway all was well for about 10 minutes. I was trying to get to sleep. But every time I dosed off, the baby would grab my arm or shoulder or something. So I would jerk my arm away. It startled me every time. This went on for the entire fucking flight. The mother didn't give a fuck. Oh yeah and all 3 kids/babies did not stop screaming the entire fucking flight. I had a terrible headache after about an hour.

When we landed, the people made me climb over the other two seats because they wanted to wait to get off for whatever reason.

Then the baggage claim: My fucking bag came out open. My shave kit thing had fallen out. Nothing else appears to be missing, but it's some bullshit. Glenn had it worse though. A bunch of bags got caught on the conveyor belt, including his. When his bag didn't come out (as well as a few other people's) we went to the baggage guy. His attitude was pretty much "how about that... oh well" It took them 20 minutes to actually do anything about it. The guy just didn't give a fuck.

I hate San Diego and I hate flying.