Christian Judges OK Cross on Public Land

Supreme Court overturns objection to cross on public land

Let's examine who voted for the legality of the Mojave cross, obviously a religious symbol, on publicly owned land:

• John Roberts, Catholic, FOR
• John Paul Stevens, Protestant, AGAINST
• Antonin Scalia, Catholic, FOR
• Anthony Kennedy, Catholic, FOR
• Clarence Thomas, Catholic, FOR
• Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Jewish, AGAINST
• Stephen Breyer, Jewish, AGAINST
• Samuel Alito, Catholic, FOR
• Sonia Sotomayor, Catholic, AGAINST

So, wait, a bunch of Christians (Catholics, to be more precise) say it's okay to have a cross on public land? Bullshit.

I think this opinion is spot on:

Dissenting Justice John Paul Stevens said: "The cross is not a universal symbol of sacrifice. It is the symbol of one particular sacrifice, and that sacrifice carries deeply significant meaning for those who adhere to the Christian faith."

Now let's watch the flood of Ten Commandment morons come forth.

Is Nitrogen Larger than Oxygen?

I was reading some gas saving myths/tips on the Consumerist when I came across this:

Fill your tires with Nitrogen. Nitrogen helps tires maintain the right pressure for a longer period of time as opposed to oxygen, this because nitrogen molecules are larger than oxygen molecules. So the next time you need to add air to your tires, add nitrogen.

Immediately I was skeptical. Oxygen is the 8th element on the periodic table, whereas nitrogen is the 7th; oxygen has a higher atomic mass than nitrogen. So can an O₂ molecule really be smaller than an N₂ molecule?

I had Google help me out and I found this paper. If you ask me, this guy is trying too hard to sound smart, like when people say "I" instead of "me." I mean come on, he didn't bother to subscript his 2s when writing O₂! ...Not to mention the paper is hosted on getnitrogen.org, which is the website for the Get Nitrogen Institute. (Institute?! Really??) Their whole idea is to get you to put nitrogen in your tires. I'm sure they're in some way financed by nitrogen people.

I found this on Answers.com (just as dubious as the nitrogen people):

Molecular size a bit tricky. As a quick comparison, we can use the covalent radius defined as 1/2 the distance between to identical covalently bonding nuclei. This is measured in picometers (1 pm= 1x 10^-12 m). Nitrogen's covalent radius is 75pm so the length of a nitrogen (N₂) molecule ought to be 4 X 75pm or 300 pm. A molecule of oxygen (O₂) ought to be just a shade smaller 4 X 73pm or 292pm. So an oxygen molecule is a little less than 3% smaller than a nitrogen molecule.

So, I did some more searching and came across this.

As you can see, covalent radii generally decrease across periods in the Periodic Table. And now all that high school chemistry is coming back to me.

Oh, yeah! Chemistry sucks!

So anyway, with some assumptions, I can agree that yes, N₂ molecules are smaller than O₂ molecules.

But let's back up! The whole point of this was what to fill your tires with! Who is filling their tires with oxygen?! If a tire caught fire in a wreck IT WOULD EXPLODE if it were filled with oxygen! They're filled with AIR, which is 78% nitrogen! I find it extremely hard to believe that using pure nitrogen to get that last 22% of non-nitrogen out of the air in the tires is going to be worth the time, effort, and money. Just check your tire pressure regularly, damnit.

Most of the other tips check out, but some of that original article is crap. For example, "Shopping around for cheaper gas DOES NOT burn more than you’ll end up saving." That depends on how far you need to drive to shop around, doesn't it? "Gas is NOT cheaper mid-week." Depends on the gas station, doesn't it? "Opening the windows instead of using the air conditioner has no measurable effect." No measureable effect?? Then what did the MythBusters measure?! (I'll save you the Google search: It is more fuel efficient to use air conditioning when the car is traveling approximately 50mph or more. Otherwise, windows are more fuel efficient.)

I Saw Gallagher!

I took a red eye through LAX in February and lo and behold, I saw Gallagher!

Yeah!

Industrial Music Makes You a Violent Extremist

I'm sure it's well known that I hate news organizations, particularly Fox News. Here is yet another reason why: Road to Radicalism: The Man Behind the 'South Park' Threats

Basically, some religious nutjob threatened (although it doesn't sound like a threat to me) the creators of South Park for depicting the "prophet" Muhammad... in a bear suit, which (SPOILER ALERT) turns out to actually be Santa.

However, the article repeatedly mentions certain interests of his:

"He was very into violent industrial music, borderline Satanic bands and stuff like that. He had dark undertones in his interests."

...there were "dark overtones in his interests" for years...

Okay were they overtones or undertones, Fox?

Chesser's interests -- hardcore industrial music, Goth and Satanic materials -- appear to have translated "pretty well to violent extremism," the classmate said.

Okay, last time I checked, Muslims hate Satan, too. This article manages to suggest that Muslims are Satanic. Furthermore, it doesn't bother to suggest any sort of reason why he became radical other than suggesting that violent industrial music and Satan are somehow linked to it. How about investigating how exactly it is he became brainwashed by religious extremists? No?

And correct me if I'm wrong here, but he hasn't commited any violence yet. He's not a violent extremist, just an extremist.

I also noticed they spelled Muhammad different ways within the article.

Bonus tidbit:

She said she will maintain more of a distance from the Chessers now, "because we're Christians…. It's kind of sad that American people are falling into this. It's sad that he would be influenced to try to hurt people."

Right, because Christians would never do things like this.

Unit Prices

Remember a couple weeks ago when I mentioned unit prices?

Here's another example of unit prices coming in handy:

At Target, you can either pay $8.59 for 100 of those clear plastic sheet protector things, or you can pay $4.09 for 50 of those clear plastic sheet protector things.

The list prices are right there, clear as day: $8.59 per 100 count or $8.18 per 100 count.

It's like a constant life test that everyone you thought was stupid in high school will repeatedly fail for their whole lives. And that makes me smile.

Tissues and Cars

Jenny once long ago pointed out how amazingly stupid it is for people to have a box of tissues in the back windshield area of their cars. If you're driving and need a tissues, you can't reach them because they're in the back-friggin-window!

Trying to play devil's advocate, I suggested that maybe they are for the children that could hypothetically be in the back seat. But then she pointed out that children are stupid too and wouldn't use tissues; they would just pick their nose and eat it. Of course, she's right, and tissues in the back window are just another Symbol of the Idiot, along with, among other things, the word "whatnot" and watching Fox News.

Anyway, the other day driving around I saw something that further proved that she is right: a box of tissues in the back window that not a single person in the car could possibly reach because the back seat had child seats in it!

My iPhone Sucks in 3G!

I just found it amazing that my iPhone could simultaneously be on the 3G network and have no service. AT&T is the biggest problem with the iPhone.

Earthquakes!

Mike O'Meara believes the Earth is crumbling as we speak, due  to all the earthquakes (and now volcano).

I decided to see what the USGS had to say. They have publicly available databases, so I plotted the amount of earthquakes greater than 5.0 on the Richter scale by year:

As you can see, 2007 had the most earthquakes since the beginning of the available USGS data. However, since this year is only one-third over, I multiplied this year's earthquakes by 3, producing the Projected result: more earthquakes than ever! This works on the assumption that earthquakes in the rest of the year are as often as they were in the first third.

But are they getting more severe?

Here, we have the magnitude of the earthquakes over 5.0 from 1973 to 2010. I made a rolling average to smooth out the data a little. It doesn't seem like the earthquakes are getting worse over time, fortunately.

So there's my cursory scientific analysis of earthquakes: we may have more this year, but they're not getting worse.

Columbine: You Mean Pop Culture Didn't Drive Them To Kill? I'm Shocked!

Source: USA Today; Wikipedia

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the two murderers who shot up their suburban high school classmates and teachers eleven years ago tomorrow were batshit insane. Yes, I know this may come as a shock to you. You thought they were just innocent, normal kids, driven to murder by their music and video games. That's what our wonderful 24-hour news networks have pounded into your head, and sadly the myth continues to this day.

So of course I will sell the record straight. In, appropriately enough, bullet form.

The Columbine murderers...

• were not in the "Trenchcoat Mafia."
• In fact, and this may also come as a shock, there is no Trenchcoat Mafia.
• didn't target jocks/Christians/blacks.
• weren't on antidepressants.
• failed at building their 100 bombs. (Maybe they should've paid more attention in Chemistry.)
• wanted to kill everyone, including friends.
• did more harassing than they received -- they were not bullied until they couldn't take it anymore.
• has serious psychological problems.
• wore t-shirts saying "Wrath" and "Natural Selection" the day of the murders.
• had been arrested in 1998 and were on probation for stealing electronics.
• were a clinical psychopath with an extreme need for control as well as a superiority complex (Harris) and a despressive (Klebold). (The original odd couple, only with sawed-off shotguns.)
• kept diaries, in which one drew swastikas, and the other drew hearts. (Can you guess which one did what?)
• illegally acquired their guns.

But none of that was reported. You were told...

• they were innocent kids bullied into retaliation.
• were driven to kill by Doom and Wolfenstein 3D, two of the best-selling first person shooters of the 1990s.
• were desensitized by their video games.
• were victims of being isolated by various cliques in high school.
• were goths.
• were driven to kill by bands like Metallica, Rammstein, Marilyn Manson, and KMFDM (all of whom have gold or platinum-selling albums).
• were just... like... your... kids!!!

And of course every school in the country enforced reactionary security rules to prevent their little snowflakes from getting slaughtered, to the extent of see-through backpacks (which of course will hide the guns students have on their person very well) and metal detectors. My high school forced everyone to wear ID cards, telling us it was for security. I asked a security guard, "How does this make us safer? Will stop a bullet?" (It won't.) No, it guarantees that the people who shoot you at your school will be students of that school, just like at Columbine. But of course ID cards and metal detectors don't stop crazy.

So now you know, the Columbine shooters were batshit insane and the media is too lazy and stupid to care about reporting actual facts. (And frankly if you didn't know that going in to this post, then we're all doomed.)

Pictures from the National Zoo

Baby Carrots

I HATE BABY-CUT CARROTS.

Here are baby carrots:

Here are baby-cut carrots:

Note the difference: one is a wonderful creation of nature. The other is an OUTRIGHT LIE! They are simply cut from bigger carrots, and the cost is passed onto you! Next time you see baby-cut carrots, rip open the bag and strew them all over the vicinity! They shouldn't exist and no one should buy them!

I urge you to insist on calling them what they are. The bag even says "Baby Carrots" on it, but I and now you both know that they are in fact baby-cut carrots. Insist on correcting people about it from now on.

Buy REAL carrots please! They're cheaper too, even if you're stupid enough to buy bagged carrots. For example: baby-cut carrots cost $.22/oz, whereas real carrots (the smaller bag of them even!) cost $.83/lb. Yeah, it looks more expensive because the same bastards that create the baby-cut carrots have changed the units in the unit price. Baby cut carrots cost you $3.52/lb! That's more than FOUR TIMES the cost of actual carrots! (Source: www.safeway.com)

What's that? You don't want to go through the effort of peeling and cutting a real carrot? Well then maybe you should go to Burger King or something because you're obviously too lazy and worthless to be eating actual food.

So, if you find yourself buying baby-cut carrots, remember that I hate you.

Chatroulette

So I was going to make a series of chatroulette posts like I did with Omegle, but I logged on and the VERY FIRST person I was connected to was a dude jacking it. Too bad I vomited off-camera.

I did learn pretty quickly that if people know you're a guy they will hit Next pretty much immediately!


I did have one good conversation though (click to embiggen):

Nuts

So we all know peanuts aren't nuts. But most of the other things you think are nuts aren't nuts, either.

A nut is "a simple dry fruit with one seed (rarely two) in which the ovary wall becomes very hard (stony or woody) at maturity, and where the seed remains attached or fused with the ovary wall."

Here are some actual nuts:

• chestnuts
• hazelnuts
• acorns 
• kola nuts (the extract of which is in Coca-Cola)
• pecans

Here are some things you think are nuts, but aren't:

• almonds
• cashews
• pistachios
• walnuts

These are all drupes, which are fruits in which an outer fleshy part surrounds a shell of hardened endocarp with a seed inside. Other drupes are peaches, plums, cherries, and coconuts.

Just to further ruin your day, here are more things that aren't actually nuts:

• macadamias - actually follicles
• peanuts - actually legumes
• brazilnuts - actually seeds 

There. Think about that next time you get a can of mixed "nuts." For example, Planters Mixed Nuts contains peanuts, almonds, cashews, brazilnuts, hazelnuts, and pecans, or more simply, two nuts and a bunch of LIES!

...Why are you crying?

Jag Panzer's Lost Album "Chain of Command"

If "Chain of Command" was released in 1987, as it should have been, it would have been their second album. According to Wikipedia,

Swedish born drummer Rikard Stjernquist was added to the line-up and the band proceeded to record the follow-up to their critically acclaimed first LP [Ample Destruction]. The album was recorded in late 1987 but never got an official release. The story has it that the band was offered a record deal by a major label, but turned it down. The never released album, which came to be known as "Chain of Command" was in fact bootlegged more than once, becoming a smash on the underground metal community. The shelved master tapes of the album made it clear that the band had run its course. They called it a day in 1988, and it would be quite a while before anyone would hear anything from the Colorado headbangers.

Jag Panzer reunited in 1994 and are still around today.

In 2004, Jag Panzer's label, Century Media, decided to release Chain of Command, which had a run of only 5000 copies. I picked up a copy in 2006 in Amsterdam. Much to my surprise I already knew the songs on most of the album, since pretty much every song had been subsequently rerecorded.

The album sounds drastically different from all other Jag Panzer albums (save for 1994's Dissident Agressor) since the vocals were done by Bob Parduba instead of Harry Conklin. Parduba has a much different style than Conklin; Parduba is a competant singer in his own right, but doesn't do the powerful, soaring high vocals that I associate with Jag Panzer.

What makes Chain of Command a strange listen is that pretty much all the songs (or at least the good songs) have since been rerecorded with Harry Conklin and put on subsequent albums, all of which I owned prior to getting Chain of Command. Here is the track list:

1. "Prelude" - Reappears on The Age of Mastery, combined with "Chain of Command"
2. "Chain of Command" - Reappears on The Age of Mastery
3. "Shadow Thief" - Reappears on The Fourth Judgement
4. "She Waits"
5. "Ride Through the Storm"
6. "In a Gadda da Vida" (Iron Butterfly cover)
7. "Never Surrender" - Retitled "Viper" on The Age of Mastery
8. "Burning Heart" - Reappears on The Age of Mastery
9. "Sworn to Silence" - Reappears on The Age of Mastery
10. "Dream Theme"
11. "Gavotte in D"

(Age of Mastery's "Take This Pain Away" and "Lustful and Free" were from Jag Panzer's 1986 EP "Shadow Thief")

So in conclusion, Chain of Command is good and all, but you don't really need it if you already have Age of Mastery. You're not exactly missing much, unless you're really into Jag Panzer or hate Harry Conklin.

Opeth Anthology

On Wednesday, I saw Opeth at Terminal 5 in New York City on their 20th anniversary minitour. It was the 15th time I've seen them.

Their set:

1. Leper Affinity
2. Bleak
3. Harvest
4. The Drapery Falls
5. Dirge For November
6. Funeral Portait
7. Patterns in the Ivy
8. Blackwater Park
9. Forest of October
10. Advent
11. April Ethereal
12. The Moor
13. Wreath
14. Hope Leaves
15. Harlequin Forest
16. The Lotus Eater

It was quite possibly the best show I've ever been to; it's at least tied with the Blind Guardian/Symphony X show at Jaxx years ago. There was no opening act at all. The sound was fantastic. I was pretty close to the rail, so I had a great view. The set was almost perfect. I would've preferred more songs I hadn't heard live before. All of Mikael's stage banter between songs, which is always fantastic, was about the history of Opeth. There were almost no idiots shouting out stupid things at bad times. There were crowd surfers, but they weren't anywhere near me.

Since Wednesday, I've listened to every single Opeth song.

More great pictures here.

One of the highlights for me was "Dirge For November." I didn't film this, but I think I can see my head occaisionally in the bottom left of the screen..

Westboro Baptist Church

I was going to complain about everyone's favorite hate group, the Westboro Baptist Church. Instead, I encourage you to watch Louis Theroux's BBC documentary "The Most Hated Family in America."



Oh, and one bonus fact: Even the KKK hates them.

Where Are The Rupublicans?

So let me get this straight: we have several blizzards and all the Republicans* go off about how global warming is obviously fake because local weather conditions = global climate. Now we have record breaking heat in April and I haven't heard a peep from anyone! Why? Because it is against their pre-determined conclusion that global climate change is a myth. I bet even the Republicans in Minnesota, who had their first snowless March since 1878, still deny it.

So where did they all go? I think they're all somewhere trying to prove that health care reform is somehow making us all Communists.

Mind you, snowless Marches and mini heat waves aren't good arguments for global climate change. I should say it again because it bears repeating:
Weather ≠ Climate
*Feel free to replace this word with whatever group you hate: Libertarians, deniers, the French, Creationists, etc.

Idiot Drivers

What is it about I-495 that attracts all the morons?

Yesterday afternoon, while I was on I-495, I saw a BMW convertible driving around with a foot outside of the car next to the rearview mirror. It was the driver's foot! As I was gazing in awe at this spectacle, the passenger dumped some liquid over the side of the car which then covered my windshield.

Shortly thereafter, some moron in a red Maseratti was driving with his right turn signal on. Normally I would applaud the use of turn signals, but his was on for about 3 miles before I could no longer see him.

This morning, some idiot in a giant SUV wouldn't let me into his lane so I could take my exit. (Just to preempt some stupid people's comments, I must enter the stretch of I-495 from the left, and my exit is on the right, so such lane changes are necessary.) Anyway, he clearly wasn't giving me any additional room, despite the fact that my turn signal had been on for an appropriate amount of time. He was SURPRISED when I changed lanes anyway, despite the fact he wasn't giving me much room. Then he honked the gayest horn I've ever heard, especially for an SUV. I got off the interstate immediately, but his horn continued. What the hell is wrong with people?

(Again, to preempt stupid comments, it would've been even less safe to speed up or slow down to get in front of other cars. Missing the exit is also not an option because otherwise I would've ended up in Virginia, which should be avoided at all costs. I maintain that I didn't actually cut him off, despite what he thinks. I'd say we were halfway between a cut-off and a proper lane change.)

It seems people think it's all about them. I don't understand people who actively don't let anyone get in front of them. They are driving in Me World and if they give any room for another car to slip in, it could cost them perhaps ONE SECOND in their overall drive time, not to mention looking weak in front of all the other drivers. I'm willing to bet these are the same people that spout out buzzwords in meetings to make everyone think they're smart. I'm on to you. You're insecure or unhappy about everything in your life so you drive like an asshole. Oh, yeah and no one is buying the buzzwords at meetings thing. We all know you're stupid.

An Evening on Omegle Part 7

Last Saturday I spent some time on Omegle, which allows you to anonymously chat with strangers. Here is one of the real conversations I had:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: HAII YOU CAN BE MY NEW BEST FRIEND IF YOU CAN PROVE YOUR COOL

You: Wow, that might be one of the only times misspelling "you're" actually still works.

You: "Your cool" as in "my cool," which is a thing I have to prove.

You: Saying "I must prove my cool" is still a coherent sentence!

Stranger: True. You are a Smarticle.

You: "Smarticle" is pretty clever.

Stranger: If a quiz is a quizicale, then what is a test?

You: Interesting how you can be so clever yet make such an easily avoidable mistake (your/you're).

You: I'm not sure I understand the premise.

You: What is a quizicale? It sounds Central American, especially if you pronounce the final e.

You: Was he an Incan king or something?

Stranger: if a quiz is a quizICLE then what a test?

Stranger: I thought you were smart?

You: Like an icicle?

Stranger: TESTICLE dumbass

You: Is that some Greek guy?

Stranger: Imma kill you.

You: (pronounce it like so: tes-ti-clay)

You: Who is Imma?

Stranger: It's called slang, bitch.

You: What is called slang? I'm confused by your pronoun.

Stranger: You should go die in a hole.

You: Well, most people die and then enter a hole (i.e. a grave). Would that suffice?

You: Furthermore, we all should die. Imagine the overpopulation!

You: So I believe you, sir/ma'am, should also die at some point. Whether you want to be in a hole afterwards is your perogative.

Stranger: True.

You: Thank you for your wise words!

Stranger: Nadda problem, dawg.

Stranger: Yknow, I'm such a cool kid.

You: What is your metric for determining this?

Stranger: It's obvious, don't you think?

You: If it were obvious, I wouldn't have to ask you your coolness metric, would I?

Stranger: Well, you are retarded, and it is obvious, so everyone who understands coolness knows how cool I am.

You: What makes you think I am retarded?

Stranger: You seem retarded. Do you think you are smart?

You: I'm not the one confusing "your" with "you're," even if it was a happy accident on your part that it worked out fine.

You: Well, define "smart."

Stranger: Fine. If you are so smart, what came first, the chicken or the egg?

You: A 5 year old child who can read the newspaper would be considered smart, even though it is a rather common practice for millions of people.

You: Easy: the egg. I don't eat chicken until at least lunch.

Stranger: Who do you figure the egg came first? How was the egg made if there was no chicken before it?

Stranger: *How

You: Well there are plenty of egg-laying animals aside from chickens.

You: Your attempt at presenting me with a paradox to somehow prove my retardedness does not impress me.

Stranger: Your face does not impress me.

You: Nor should it impress you.

You: For you cannot see it.

Stranger: How old are you? Like 58?

You: Where did you come up with that number?

You: Is it random, or is it based on some sort of observation?

Stranger: You seem like a lonely old man who has nothing better to do than go on Omegle.

You: Ah, but aren't you yourself participating in the same activity?

You: To quote the great philosopher Robb Spewak, "I am as God made me, sir."

Stranger: Yeah, but I'm young.

Stranger: Therefore that means I can afford to waste some of my time on here.

You: We still haven't established my true age.

Stranger: Then, what is it?

You: Let me ask you this:

You: If life does indeed begin at conception, when why do we calculate our age using our birthdays?

Stranger: Why not?

You: Because if you define "age" as the time one is alive, then life begins at birth. Therefore, any claim that life begins at conception would be false.

You: I suggest you bring this up if you ever find yourself in a Catholic church.

Stranger: Huh. And why does this matter to anyone?

You: Ah, it should concern you, young man.

You: (Assuming you're a man.)

Stranger: I am a woman, you idiot.

You: Well, how exactly am I supposed to figure that out from your inane drivel?

Stranger: I am guessing you're a man? A pedophile who is 58?

You: Anyway, imagine you become pregnant. You are faced with the option of getting an abortion. You take it upon yourself to come to a well-reasoned, thought-out decision on whether or not to get said abortion. Suppose someone tells you that you shouldn't because life begins at conception. You cannot decide whether that is true until you consider what age is and how we determine it.

Stranger: Kay, so. I think you should shut up and get a life.

You: Now if you do decide that life begins at conception, decide abortion is murder and do not have the procedure done, then how old is your child when it is born?

You: It is 9 months old.

You: Q.E.D.

Stranger: STOP, you are really annoying.

You: I am not physically capable of getting a life. You, however, are.

You: A life within you.

You: As in a child.

Stranger: Fucking creepy...

You: I am simply stating a medical fact.

Stranger: Yeah. Bye.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

An Evening on Omegle Part 6

Last Saturday I spent some time on Omegle, which allows you to anonymously chat with strangers. Here is one of the real conversations I had:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: How about that Obama?
Stranger: hey baby
You: Hello.
Stranger: i dont like n*ggers [Timmortal: I don't want my page associated with that word, hence the censoring.]
You: Is that a fact?
Stranger: ya
You: You don't seem to appreciate grammar either.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: THERE IS NO GOD!

Stranger: i agree

You: Cool.

You: I like where this went.

Stranger: me too

Stranger: good bye

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: hey asl

You: Is "asl" short for asshole?

You: Because it sounds like it.

You: Fuck you, asshole.

Stranger: age sex location

You: Well, I'm in my twenties. I don't have a regular sex location anymore. But usually I'd do it in my bed.

You: Where is your sex location?

Stranger: it means where u live idiot

Stranger: and if your male or female

You: Oh, I apologize.

You: I live in a house.

You: And do you want to know my sex or my gender?

Stranger: gender

You: Male.

You: And what is yours?

Stranger: female

You: Wonderful.

You: What state do you reside in?

You: Or province

You: Or country

Stranger: canada .
u ?

You: Modify my question as necessary.

You: I live in Canada's shoe, America.

You: What's your sex location?

Stranger: nice .
canadas pretty awesome

You: Well, parts of it are.

You: Manitoba sucks like the Dakotas.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

An Evening on Omegle Part 5

Last Saturday I spent some time on Omegle, which allows you to anonymously chat with strangers. Here is one of the real conversations I had:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: I'm really enjoying this so-called "Internet."

Stranger: the interweb? how so

You: Well, I am currently having a text-based conversation with a person whom I, in all likelihood, will never have the pleasure of meeting in person.

You: It's quite mind-blowing if you think about it.

Stranger: it is, but technology moves foward, so this to me is pretty normal

You: And conversely, I would wager that it isn't mind-blowing if you don't think about it.

You: Which itself is interesting.

Stranger: i have though about it, just normal. technology what it holds is mindblowing ill give you that

Stranger: its potential

You: Quite. Observe:

You: Look to your right and tell me what you see.

Stranger: a wall

You: Same here!

Stranger: pictures etc

You: Describe the wall.

You: Mind has a light switch and a calendar on it.

You: *Mine

Stranger: brown ish paint, has a white door, wall paper, with my work resting against it

You: The calendar is on the correct month, as well, which is a bit of an anomaly for me.

You: Your work?

Stranger: univeristy work

You: Fantastic!

Stranger: how so

You: Without technology, we may have never known this about our respective walls to our respective right sides.

You: It's amazing it is!

Stranger: lol

Stranger: you seem very easily impressed

Stranger: can i ask your name?

You: You can, but I'm afraid I must get going.

Stranger: lol

You: And for this I apologize.

Stranger: fair enough

Stranger: no worries

You: Have a good evening.

Stranger: least i know youre american

Stranger: you too, well good morning here, 4 am

You: Because it's evening or because I spelled it "apologize"?

Stranger: apologize

Stranger: but i assume other countries spell it that way, mainly north america though

Stranger: so america or canada im presuming

You: Well done. I just had a conversation about the spelling of "offense."

You: ...with a fellow American

Stranger: lol

Stranger: offenCe :p

You: That is what I had to explain. HE also told me I seemed British.

You: Which I took as a compliment.

Stranger: no no

Stranger: maybe from your grammar

You: Yeah, that's what I assumed.

Stranger: well proper use of language from caps etc

You: Okay, well have a good morning, sir or madam.

You have disconnected.