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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Fake Yo-Yo Guy Screws with Local News

Kenny Strasser has been added to my list of personal heroes. He scored a handful of interviews on local news programs pretending to be a yo-yo champion. Observe:



So, what does one of these stations do after the interview invariably goes to hell? They make a news segment based on research that none of the stations did before booking the interview!



Way to fail.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Adventure in Maine

...if you can call them adventures.

I had a day to waste in Maine recently, so for no reason I drove from the Portland area to Ellsworth.

At some point, I passed through Lisbon, the site of the annual Moxie Festival! The festival hasn't happened yet this year but these people apparently love their Moxie all year:
Eventually I went over this bridge:
...and passed through Bucksport, the city where RVG:TZM played a show on the Dead Will Tour the Earth 2004 tour. It doesn't appear to have changed much.

Eventually I got to my destination: Jordan's Snack Bar in Ellsworth.
I got the fried clams. They were pretty damn good.

I know it sounds like I'm leaving a lot of stuff out, but this is all you're missing:

That night, I went candlepin bowling back in Lisbon:
Candlepin bowling is a lot trickier than 10-pin or even duckpin since the pins are so narrow. I bowled a measly 74.

So anyway, that is what counts as a day of adventure in Maine.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Wal-Mart's Definition of Juice

Wal-Mart apparently thinks a product containing 0% juice still counts as juice.

Then again, what would you expect from a company that claims it lowers prices while actually raising them?

(Please ignore the fact that I was in a Wal-Mart. I'm quite ashamed of it myself.)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Surviving Terrible Hotel TV

Hotel TV sucks. They usually have just a handful of channels, none of which are any good. In fact, even if they have good channels, when you're there, there won't be anything good on TV. It's a fact.

It seems they do this so you order a movie from the hotel for $14.99. By the time you realize the movie sucks, you feel like you have to watch it since it was so damned expensive.

So, how do I combat bad hotel TV? My iPod. I have a video cable. (Apple tries to charge for $50 for this thing, by the way.) Basically I can watch any video from my iPod (but not the iPhone for some reason) on the TV. The problem is figuring out how to change the TV source. It's usually very easy on flat screen TVs, but I'm not usually that lucky. On older TVs, sometimes they will have an AUX channel hiding somewhere in the higher numbers. Sometimes you have to Spiderman yourself around the TV to plug in the cables to the back. The TV I have on this trip has 4 such channels, two of which are FRONT and AUX. And none of them work! So, what do I do in that case? I dunno, write some blogs or something.

Either way, fuck hotel TV.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

ChristWire.org is Genius!

Go to http://christwire.org/ right now.

At first I couldn't tell it was satire, which means they did a great job. They have articles such as:
I'm almost sure you could find seriously written articles on actual right-wing websites.

Seriously, you could pull this part of their mission statement from anyone's site who watches Fox News:
Together, in this community, you and your Moral Leaders will combat the evil liberals of this world and once again ensure that a bit of freedom and righteousness once again permeates every country, and let those who don’t abide by our teachings know the eternal pit of hellfire shall be awaiting!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Followup: Mojave Cross

What's more powerful than our inept Supreme Court? Bolt cutters.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

More Golden Ratio Stuff - Donald Duck

Remember my Golden Ratio post? Donald Duck elaborates:

Thanks to Matt for bringing this to my attention.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Godless Truck!

I saw this Sheetz truck on the way to work the other day. It reads "Our chef is my co-pilot."

It was such a refreshing change from those damn Covenant Transport trucks with the dickish "It's a Child, Not a Choice" message on the back of their trucks. You're a truck company. Shut the fuck up about abortion. They also seem to think it's okay to be holier-than-thou as they try to force their drivers to break DOT regulations. While they're at it, they steal money from their drivers, discriminate against women, and are not very Christian at all. See?

But I digress. Sheetz is awesome. I wish the closest one wasn't 40 minutes away.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Sarah Palin Hates The British For Some Reason

So Palin went off about how we shouldn't trust "foreign" oil companies in light of the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. In particular, she says that foreign companies like BP are not to be trusted. (Nevermind the fact that her husband worked for them for 18 years.)

Okay, first of all, Transocean owned and operated Deepwater Horizon, which is now just called Deepwater, I think. Transocean is a Swiss company. There's no reason to hate on the British all of a sudden. Or even the Swiss. Or the American workers on the platform.

Anyway, it's not like American companies are that much more responsible when it comes to oil spills.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

How Fragile Are Picks?

I ordered 2 packs of Dunlop Jazz III picks from Amazon.com. They decided to put them in a box and added some cushioning material:
Wouldn't an envelope have been better?

I would like to note, however, that the picks arrived undamaged. I also ordered some Dunlop Jaxx III XLs (I play bass with those), and they have yet to arrive. I wonder how big the box will be!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Golden Ratio

The Golden Ratio is everywhere. It's pretty ridiculous.

The Golden Ratio is defined as:
    φ = (a + b)/a = a/b
Since a = bφ, you can easily show that
    φ = (1 + 51/2)/2 ≈ 1.6180...

It can also be expressed as:
    φ = 1 + 1 / (1 + 1 / (1 + 1 / (1 + /(etc)))) 

Yeah, it doesn't look like much, but it's hiding in all kinds of places.

Some things that have the Golden Ratio include:
  • Stonehenge (the radii on the concentric circles, not the triptychs)
  • The Egyptian Pyramids (the angle between a and b below is about 51°, which makes a/h = φ)
  • Acropolis of Athens
  • Notre Dame de Paris

The text area of Medieval books are also designed to the Golden Ratio as well.

Pentagrams follow the ratio as well:

The colored line segments are in the Golden Ratio to eachother.

It's heavily used in architecture and design for one reason: because it looks so damn good. Seriously.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The New York Times is Stupid

For Corn Syrup, the Sweet Talk Gets Harder

This article basically tries to say that high fructose corn syrup isn't bad for you, but more Americans don't want it anyway. Yet the only science the article mentions is buried deep within the article AND the conclusions were that HFCS is bad for you.

This is happening even though many scientists say that high-fructose corn syrup is no worse for people than sugar, which costs some 40 percent more.
Many scientists, huh? Like who?

Leading scientists, however, say that the product, made when various chemicals convert corn starch into syrup, is not any worse than sugar. Both sweeteners are made up of roughly equal amounts of glucose and fructose, they say.
Oh, they're leading scientists now? Let's be clear here. Sure, sugar and HFCS are made up of equal amounts of glucose and fructose, but there is a distinct difference. Sugar is actually sucrose, which is fructose and glucose bonded together. HFCS is just a pile of each. Throwing LEGOs into a bag doesn't make a Troll Assault Wagon. You have to put it together!
“I’m no fan of the Corn Refiners Association, but in this case they have biochemistry on their side,” says Marion Nestle, a professor of nutrition at New York University who has campaigned against unhealthy foods marketed to children.
Marion Nestle? What's that? You have books to sell? How convenient that you're available for New York Times interviews.

Although it hasn’t done much good yet, Ms. Erickson [President of the Corn Refiners Association] continues to point out that science does not support the demonization of the product.
Of course the president of the Corn Refiners Association has plenty of "science" to say their product isn't killing Americans. They have spent millions of dollars on inconclusive studies and even more on advertising and PR. There have been plenty of studies about whether HFCS has adverse health effects. And wouldn't you know it, most of the ones defending HFCS were funded by corn refiners!

Finally, some actual science performed by actual scientists:
In the recent Princeton study... one group of rats was given access to high-fructose corn syrup, while another got sugar-sweetened drinks. The study found that rats that gulped lots of drinks with high-fructose corn syrup gained more weight than those that had the sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same.

You want proof that HFCS sucks? Have a Passover Coke, Mexican Coke, or Canadian Coke*. These are all made with sugar. Then have a good old corn-laden American Coke. Yeah, now you understand. (The difference is tenfold if you try them both at room temperature.)
*Although Canadian Coke does say "sucrose and/or glucose-fructose" so the presence of HFCS in it is possible, but rare.

P.S. The existence of a Facebook group does not constitute news, New York Times. One guy made an anti-HFCS page and that somehow makes him your anti-HFCS expert? What happened? Couldn't understand what the actual scientists said to you?

P.P.S. The incredibly unfunny HFCS Commercial Spoof mentioned in the article isn't worth your time or mine.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Oprah Winfrey Ruins Life

This is great. The new nature documentary Life is going to be released in the UK with David Attenborough narrating and in the USA with Oprah Winfrey narrating. It's no surprise to me that Attenborough's version gets 5 stars whereas Oprah's gets 1.5 stars. Whose decision was it to not use the no doubt perfect soundtrack provided by Attenborough and replace it with OPRAH? Ugh.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Double Down

Yeah, I'm all late about posting something about a KFC Double Down. I had it over a week ago, so at least my actions were timely.

Anyway, what can you say about a breadless sandwich put together by people who spell the word "down" with 5 letters?
Well, just this: it was simultaneously amazing and horrifying! It tasted fantastic, but about halfway through my heart hurt. I didn't finish it. It was also pretty damn salty. I would say skip it and get a salad, if fast food salads weren't as bad or worse for you than a Double Down. (Although I'm a bit skeptical of the numbers.)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

A Day's Worth of Food Entirely in Fry Form!

At Burger King, you can get an entire day's worth of food completely in French Fry form!

Let's say you stumble out of bed around 9:45 AM, leaving you just enough time to get to Burger King for breakfast. You can get a large order of French Toast Sticks - french toast in french fry form!

By the time you're done, you can get right back in line and order lunch: a large BK Chicken Fries and a large fries! Delicious! Of course, you will need BBQ and honey mustard to go with them.

When you're finished with you meal, you know that there just has to be something else you can eat in french fry form. Why, Funnel Cake Sticks are a perfect dessert!

If you can manage to get home and pass out for the rest of the day, you will have eaten 1 day's worth of food entirely in french fry form!

The nutrition facts for this delicious meal:
  • 1930 calories
  • 92g fat (138% DV)
  • 18g saturated fat (90% DV)
  • 0g trans fat
  • 75mg cholesterol (25% DV)
  • 237g carbs (76% DV)
  • 71g sugar
  • 41g protein
  • 3700mg sodium (157% DV)
On a related note, Burger King's Menu and Nutrition page is pretty sweet.

    Saturday, May 1, 2010

    Solution to Arizona's New Racist Law

    As I'm sure you've heard by now, Arizona passed a law requiring all brown people to show their papers on demand to prove they're in the country legally. And people are pissed!

    I'm also sure you've heard people say this is the kind of stuff they did in Nazi Germany, which is true.

    Well, I have a perfect and elegant solution: Give Arizona back to Mexico and force all white people to show their papers to prove they are in fact Mexican citizens. (Please note that this differs from my plan of giving all of the southwest back to Mexico, which I will get into another day.)
    Let's hope they get rid of this racist law soon. Then again, I don't exactly have much faith in the Supreme Court as of late....