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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Actual Confederate Flag

Most racists who for some reason love to celebrate their history of embarassing defeat will do so with this flag:



You may have just gone, "ah, the Stars and Bars!" Well, you're wrong. You may also have said "hey, I'm not a racist! I just love the South and this flag shows it!" That flag represents the racist institution of slavery. Don't believe me? Go read the actual Articles of Secession or this speech by Confederate Vice President Alexander H. Stephens and then try to tell me the Civil War was about state's rights.

That flag up there isn't the flag of the Confederacy. In fact they changed flags so often it nearly rivaled the frequency of iTunes updates. Here's the last one they used:


That's pretty terrible-looking in my opinion. I wouldn't want to use it either.

Some have said that the Confederate flag is a Naval jack. First of all you're close, but still wrong. The Naval jack in question was colored slightly differently:

And furthermore, why is saying that the Confederate flag on the back of your truck is a Naval jack supposed to make it okay? The vast majority of the battles were on land! The Confederate Navy didn't do all that much aside from dying! And besides, who goes around saying they love the United States by whipping out this thing:


So where did the popular (and incorrect) version of the Confederate flag come from? Some may say it was the Battle Flag, then spew some lies about how even slaves fought for the Confederacy to pretend they're not racist. The Confederate Battle Flag was square. There were some (read: very few) Confederate Army units that used the rectangularized version. Yet somehow, that's the one that gained popularity.

Interesting side note: Town Line, NY actually flew this incorrect Confederate flag on purpose because they couldn't find a real one. This tiny chunk of western NY state held a town meeting in 1861 and decided to seceed from the Union for a variety of half-baked reasons. As the war pressed on and the townsfolk sobered up, they pretty much forgot about that whole secession thing. Then in 1946, like an alcoholic going through Step 9, they rejoined the Union. They flew the incorrect Confederate Flag prior to rejoining, despite the fact that those in Town Line who fought for the Confederacy did so under yet another version of the Confederate flag:
Morons.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

My Horrible Kmart Experience

Kmart sucks. We all know it. So why did I find myself in one recently? I read online somewhere that they carry Diet Cherry Coke. Not that Coke Cherry Zero crap that tastes so much like chemicals it's mistaken for water in China. I'm talking about: Real. Diet. Cherry. Coke.

Think about it. You haven't seen it in ages. I did manage to find some in Florida, but it was a 12-pack of cans and I had no way to take it with me.

Anyway, Kmart. Literally before I had been in the store for 5 seconds, I was asked to donate to two charities, one of which was the March of Dimes. The MoD woman seemed genuinely angry that I refused to donate.

Eventually I found the soda section, but alas: no DCC. Since I went out of my way to go to Kmart, I decided to get a snack. While on my way to the registers, the MoD lady came by again and said, "Now are you ready to donate?" No. I'm not. I already told you no. Why would I miraculously change my mind 2 minutes later?

Then finally on the way out the door, there was another lady taking donations for March of Dimes.

So, I officially hate March of Dimes. Bring back polio! If anyone complains, I know of a Kmart that will change your mind.

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Swedish Navy

The Swedish Navy is awesome. I don't know what it is they do exactly, but check this ship out:


No, that's not a killboat from the future, but it might as well be. That's HMS Helsingborg, a Visby-class corvette. Clearly it's designed to be hard to see on a radar (what with all the angularness), but the hull is made of PVC with carbon fiber and and vinyl laminate. So, there's pretty much no magnetic or infrared signatures, either.

Before you know it, the Swedes will have invaded and filled your home with affordable furniture!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Burning Shadows v. Burning Shadow's

Damn kids.

Mike from Division informed me of a Facebook page for a band called "Burning Shadow's". Their profile picture was our old logo (that we still use when the time is right, mind you).

So, I wrote to them:
"Adding an apostrophe to our name doesn't give you the right to steal our logo. Please discontinue use of our name and logo."

I also provided links to the Amongst the Dying Waves CD, which uses that logo, as well as our website and our iTunes page.

The next day, they responded, "O_O i really didnt know there was a band named burning shadows"

To which I wrote, "You had no problem finding our logo, but you couldn't figure out where it came from? And I see you haven't bothered to delete the images with [our] logo in it yet...."

Them: "i said im sorry gosh dnt gotta be mean"
Me: "Actually, you didn't say you're sorry."

Later, someone jokingly suggested, "Fierce Allegiance would be a good band name!"

You'd think they would have done an ounce of research after stealing our name. They went ahead and changed their named to Fierce Allegiance. So, someone posted a link to the real Fierce Allegiance's logo, writing, "Here's a good logo for you guys!" (They responded with "thank you dude ur great")

Minutes later, "DAMMIT THERE IS ALREADY A BAND NAME FIERCE ALLEGIANCE =("

I won't bother to tell you what they changed it to now, but rest assured, the name already belongs to a group that has music on iTunes. And as far as I can tell, these kids haven't even played a single note.

Epilogue: After the dust had settled, they asked me, "hmmmmmm r u guys like a real official band like on youtube nd stuff O_O"

Sigh.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Niagara Falls

In response to "The Canadian side of Niagara Falls is prettier," I once heard someone say "That's because you're looking at America!"

Guess what? It turns out it's mostly because you're looking at Canada.


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As you can see, the cliff that creates Horseshoe Falls is about 60% in Canada. Plus the majority of the water falls into Canada. So, obviously this victory goes to Canada.

But don't feel bad. Northeast of Horseshoe Falls is the American Falls, so-named because it's located entirely within America. Also, it sucks so bad that they have to light it up with colors at night to get people to look at it. And even then, you're only looking at it because Horseshoe Falls is so awesome you needed a break from it.