Metro Continues To Try to Kill Us!

Previously: Metro is Trying to Kill Us

Article: Red Line trains delayed after man struck, killed (WTOP)

From the article:

A man who was struck and killed at the Forest Glen station was on the tracks intentionally, Metro says.

I don't think we should be listening to anything a sentient train says. Remember how it worked out in Stephen King's Dark Tower series?

Startling Revelation of the Day

Carlos Alazraqui (Deputy Garcia from Reno 911!) did the voices of Mr. Weed and Rocco! Holy shit!

Bush & Obama

I was impressed when former president Bush demonstrated his cat-like reflexes (18 seconds in):


But Barack Obama is a motherfucking NINJA:

Food, Inc.

Official Trailer:


This movie is fantastic. It's loosely based on Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser and The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan. It does a fantastic job summarizing both books in 90 minutes. (By the way, go read those books.) Oh yeah, and both Pollan and Schlosser produced and appear in it.

The movie is divided into 3 major segments:

1. Factory Farming (Meat)
   
2. Intensive Farming (Grain)
   
3. The Evils of the Major Food Companies and Their Economic and Political Power

The film ends with tips on how to break the cycle and avoid being a part of the system that is slowly killing us all economically, environmentally, and medically.

Metro is trying to kill us.

Article: http://www.wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=1705001

It's official. The DC Metro system has become self-aware and is trying to kill us all.

From the article:

He says all signs are showing that the operator did everything she could to prevent the crash. Investigators have found the emergency braking system had been in use 300 to 400 feet before the crash.

...

NTSB Spokesman Debbie Hersman says five of six circuits, or stretches of track, showed no problems during tests Wednesday. But she says there were "anomalies" with the sixth circuit. Hersman would not elaborate on what those might be, saying more tests are needed.

The electronic sensors in question may have sent signals to the striking train to go at speed -- 59 mph.

The Washington Post reports an internal Metro report shows the system was not working properly. The computer system, the paper reports, was telling the striking train that there was no train ahead of it. The computers might have sent the train to crash into the one ahead of it.

I'm on to you, Metro.

Bad FMLs

FML (fmylife.com) is a site where people post stories about how their life sucks.

Here's a typical hilarious entry:

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

Here's another good one:

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

Each one starts with "Today," and ends with "FML," which stands for "Finally, McDonald's Lunch" because people post items while waiting for their food.

Anyway, every so often I'll see really stupid FMLs. Here are some examples:

• Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML


• Yeah, fuck your life! You harassed a homeless man and he got pissed off! You should be bleeding to death in an alley somewhere.



• Today, I got pulled over by LAPD because they thought I was drinking and driving. While they were making me walk in a straight line, a bag of weed fell out of my pocket. FML


• So you drive like a moron and smoke pot and got caught? Boo hoo!



• Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML


• Maybe you shouldn't pick your nose in public situations?



• Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML


• You're just a dick.



• Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML


• Your mom's a whore. (This one's not bad I just thought it was funny.)



• Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML


• You're lazy and stupid.



• Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML


• HAHAHA. But seriously you should be tortured for my amusement.



• Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML


• Smart kid.



• Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML


• It doesn't matter what it says after the first 7 words. Fuck you.



• Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML


• I don't know where to begin with this one.



• Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML


• You tried to freebase cereal? Moron.

I could go on, but I'll leave it at that for now.