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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Somebody Buy a Ruler for Wegmans

Wegmans subs are made of awesome. In fact, that's the only ingredient. They taste like they were made by a unicorn riding an elephant down a river of magma while a marching band plays John Philip Sousa tunes using only cannons and guitars.

I bought a "3.5 inch" Wegmans sub a while ago. While it was delicious (and just like all those things I said up there), I couldn't help but notice it didn't seem like 3.5 inches of pure awesome on white bread. I got out the only thing I had on me with a consistent length: a dollar bill, which as you know is 2.61 by 6.14 inches. 


This sub was not even 3 inches. Someone owe me a half-inch of awesome. Now that I've typed that I immediately regret it. Carry on.

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