7 Eco-Myths "Debunked" Article is Bunk Itself

7 Eco-Myth Debunked

This article made my brain hurt. Let's just go through each of the "myths" they "debunked" shall we?

1. Local food is not always better.

The buy local movement is a strong current in the river of environmentalism, and for a good reason: It does make good sense to keep your money and shopping close to home ... but not always. Local food isn't always better. There are many things you have to consider when assessing the environmental impact of a food item. Besides just how far it traveled from field to market, consider how the food was harvested, processed, stored and transported.

YES! TRANSPORTED! THAT'S THE POINT OF THE "BUY LOCAL" THING! If your food traveled 3000 miles or more, I'd be amazed if it was better than getting something from 100 miles away (unless it traveled by rail). It also helps your local economy! Notice the author implicitly acknowledges that local food is usually better: "but not always." You could pretty much apply that to everything! And guess what? That's pretty much how the whole list goes.

2. Big farms aren't evil.

Freelance journalist Tracie McMillan found that some workers prefer the benefits and consistency of a larger operation. Big farms are also more likely to be visited by government inspectors, and there is something to be said for the efficiency gained from a large-scale operation. We certainly need to support small farms, but we shouldn't dismiss all big farms as evil.

Same tactic here: big farms aren't always evil. He doesn't discuss the horror to the planet that monoculture farming is. Instead they use some vague labor argument, that starts with "some workers." And just because the government is inspecting a farm doesn't make it safe. The FDA and USDA don't really have any power thanks to the way the laws have been written. So there's no "eco-myth" debunked here.

3. CFLs are bad.

This one ends up saying CFLs are good! After going off about the amount of mercury in them, it says:

But consider this: the source of most of America's electricity, burning coal, releases lots of mercury into the atmosphere. The mercury generated from the extra electricity needed over the lifetime of an incandescent bulb is far more than the amount found in your average CFL bulb.

Nothing debunked.

4. Invasive Species are Good

Anytime an exotic animal is brought into a new environment, it frequently ends badly, but there are some places where that's not the case.

Same argument. "...there are some places...." You can find exceptions to everything somewhere. That doesn't mean you debunked anything.

5. The Rainforest Is Manmade

Rogue archaeologists Clark Erickson and William Balée believe the North and South American continents were populated by large and advanced civilizations that pulled off enormous feats of geoengineering, and the rain forest is a result of hundreds of years of fruit and nut tree cultivation by farmers. If we planted it once, that would mean we could plant it again.

NOT IF WE'RE TURNING IT INTO FARMS TO GROW CATTLE TO MAKE BURGERS FOR AMERICA! Besides, it's not just that there the rainforests are disappearing, it's what's IN the rainforests disappearing that is the problem. "Rogue archaeologist" seems to indicate to me that their hypothoses are generall discredited by peers.

6. Trees are bad.

The more trees, the better, right? Not always.

Same tactic. Not a good argument again.

7. Hybrid cars are bad.

There's no dispute that hybrid cars use gas more efficiently, but is a hybrid the best choice for everyone (and the planet) every time?

Again the argument is against absolutes. Seems like a hack-ish way to write an article to me.

This whole article is the kind of thing some crazy person would read and think something has been disproven when in fact it's all just common sense.

The most condescending thing about the whole article comes from #1: "Do your homework." That goes double for you, author.

I am in the new MANOWAR DVD!!!!!

There is about 1 entire second of me during the North America 2005 section of Manowar Hell On Earth Part V DVD at 38:17.

Here's a freeze frame:

My life is now complete!

Also that night, I met Rhapsody (of Fire)...

...and I got their setlist.

Hamburger James & Elvis

Don & Mike used to read the Hamburger James story every Xmas. Actually, Don would read it to Charly Stuang Stabilac. I found a version of the text. It's not as great reading it as it is to hear Don tell it, but here it is anyway.

Elvis' case of drugs he could carry with him was referred to as his "kit". And famously, once, the guy whose job it was to get Elvis hamburgers, Hamburger James, stole Elvis' kit. When Elvis found out, he was furious and tracked Hamburger James down at the airport. Hamburger James's plane was pulling out, and Elvis exclaimed "Stop that plane, I'm an FBI agent!" He flashed a badge famously given him by none other than Richard Nixon. So they stopped, and Elvis caught poor ole Hamburger James. No one in the entourage knew what Elvis would do. They knew he had a gun. He said he was going to kill him. This could be the end, the absolute end. Elvis raised a table, as if to smash him James with it, but then, as if coming to his senses, he set it down and hugged him. "If you needed something, all you had to do was ask...."

Now for some bonus Elvis Facts (also typically read by D&M):

• He liked to fill his swimming pool with lightbulbs and shoot them.
• He would shoot his TV screen whenever Robert Goulet would come on.
• He liked to climax in a woman's hair.
• He liked to use baby talk: he called feet "sooties" and ice cream "iddy-tream".
• Members of his Memphis Mafia would fill his pills with sugar, in an attempt to get him unaddicted.
• He would carve bit of flesh out of his feet, saying "I oughta get some good stuff for this."
• At the time of his death, his colon weighed around 30lbs.
• Doctors had to smash out Elvis's teeth in order to force a breathing tube down his throat.
• A young Elvis once saw his aunt dancing on a table, an exclaimed "Oh my peter!"

Happy Crimble!

Two Great Metal Videos

I hate Lamb of God (more like Lame of God), but this video is hilarious! I bailed the second the vocals game in, though.




This second one is similar to others involving the muppets, but the idea is very much the same.


I found these on the Top 10 Heavy Metal Viral Clips of 2009 from Metal Injection. The Black Metal Cooking one is good, but it's not as good as the Metal Chef was.

Jon Schaffer is Batshit Insane...

...but damn can he write a great song!

He just launched his "Sons of Liberty" project. Basically he took all his crazy ultra right-wing/libertarian craziness and released an album. Low-res versions of the mp3s are available from his website (which I will not link here) for free. You can also buy hi-res mp3s from him for $8, which I did. The website also has a bunch of recommended reading and links and such and it's all craziness. I can sum up the reading list in one sentence: He recommends a Ron Paul book. Not crazy enough for you? Further down the page, he recommends Glenn Beck.

But guess what? The songs are pretty damn good! ...Until the little soliloquies at the end of every song. A lot of them are presidential quotes that I would imagine are taken out of context. The lyrics are very Schaffer-y as well (i.e. poorly written). Think The Glorious Burden squared plus Fox News-inspired messages in every song. And of course the lyrics are batshit insane. For example, "Our Dying Republic" complains about the 'fascists' trying to take over the USA. It sounds like he performed the vocals on every song. He does a damn good job, too. I believe the drums are sampled. They sound better than the RVG drums though. Anyway the whole thing sounds a lot like newer Megadeth. (The connections between insane frontmen and their fantastic bands will have to come another day.)

Please, Jon. PLEASE stick to Iced Earth! Stick to Demons & Wizards! Write about horror! Write about Set Abominae. Write about ANYTHING ELSE. It gives me such a headache to both love the music and hate the message simultaneously.

Oh yeah, and how did he officially announce his project? On Alex Jones's radio show. Who is he? A 9/11 truther. Excuse me while I vomit.

Heavener Stone

Now that we've established that the Kensington Runestone is authentic, let's most on to some other Runestones found in the USA:

The Heavener Runestone was found in Oklahoma. Other runestones were said to have existed there but were destroyed in the 1930s and 1940s. It's far less interesting than the Kensington stone. This stone reads: "GNOMEDAL" (Gnome Valley). Or "G. Nomedal." Or "GLOME DAL" (Glome Valley). Or it could be a cryptogram for "November 11, 1012." Yeah, no one's very sure.

Either way, it is a local tourist attraction and a state park was built around the area.

Baltimore Blizzards' AHL Season

Warning: extreme nerding over a video game lies ahead.

Since the Baltimore Blizzards (my created team in NHL 2010) were slaughtered by Belarus in the World Tournament, it was decided to go "back to basics" and compete in the AHL somehow. The Blizzards replaced the now-defunct Iowa Chops for the season. Needless to say, the Blizzards went undefeated in the regular season.

For some reason I threw all the stats into a spreadsheet: BBZ AHL Season.

T. Regan (#9) had the most goals, most assists, most points, 3d most PIMS, 2d best +/-, and 4th most hits in the AHL.

D. Miller (#13) had the 2d most assists, 3d most points, most PIMS, 3d best +/-, and most hits in the AHL and the most goals of all defensemen.

A. El-Zeftawy (#26) had the 3d most assists, 6th most points, 2d most PIMS, best +/-, 2d most hits in the AHL and the 2d most goals of all defensemen.

The Blizzards had players with the 1st through 13th and 15th best +/- in the AHL

The Blizzards as a team had the most goals for (next team had 244), most goals for per game (next team had 3.05), fewest goals against (next team had 194), fewest power plays, most times shorthanded (413 -- the next team has 170), best penalty kill (yet most power play goals against), and most shorthanded goals for (next team had 6 -- that's 80 less!).

Now hopefully we can be undefeated in the post season as well. Then it's on to the NHL.

Pennies

Pennies cost more than 1¢ each to produce since zinc prices have been rising. There are several groups out there trying to do away with the penny.

When the penny was introduced in 1793, it was worth what is now 22¢. From 1793-1857, there was also a half-cent piece. It was worth what is now 10¢ when it was discontinued. (Equivalency to today's money calculated on this site.)

So basically back in the late 1700s, the smallest coin you had was essentially a dime. Frankly I wouldn't mind not having pennies anymore, or at least seeing them much less. But then what would I throw at people when they snore through movies? Nickels would indeed hurt more.

From a retail standpoint, perhaps discontinuing the penny will also boost the usage of dollar coins, since most cash registers in the US are already designed for 4 types of coins. Then we can bring back to $2 bill with the space once populated by $1 bills! Then it will finally be the future!

...Oh yeah and nickels also cost more than their face value to make. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

The Maine Penny

The Maine Penny is a Norwegian Silver Penny dating from between 1065-1080 CE. It was found in 1957 in the remains of an old Indian settlement at Naskeag Point, Brooklin, Maine. As it was the only Norse artifact found at the site, it is unlikely Vikings brought it there themselves. More likely, it was worn as a pendant (some accounts state there was a perforation in the penny) or it was traded from a Viking settlement in Newfoundland and eventually made its way south. An Eskimo tool was also found at the site and could have also arrived via trade.

The Kensington Runestone

The Kensington Runestone is a slab of sandstone with a runic inscription on it. It was found in 1898. The inscription:

8 Geats and 22 Norwegians on [??] acquisition expedition from Vinland far west. We had traps by 2 shelters one day's travel to the north from this stone. We were fishing one day. After we came home, found 10 men red with blood and dead. AVM [Ave Maria] Deliver from evils.

[I] have 10 men at the inland sea to look after our ship 14 days travel from this wealth/property. Year [of our Lord] 1362

The Geats were from what is now southern Sweden. They found some dead dudes and were totally spooked. Oh yeah and Vinland is the Norse name for North America. And the runestone says it was written in 1362. Oh yeah and the runestone was found in Kensington, Minnesota!!

So basically, Vikings made it to Minnesota before Columbus was even born!!

Unfortunately, it's possible it's a hoax. The only witnesses to the unearthing were the family of Olof Öhman when he found it on his land, tangled in the roots of a tree. However, later witnesses say the roots did appear flattened, as if a 200 lb stone had been lying on them.

Linguists both in America and Scandinavia have declared it to be a fraud. Reasons included creation of a "J" rune, the language being a more modern form of Swedish, the lack of cases (accusative, dative, genitive, nominative, present in Old Norse and modern German), the use of umlauts, and the use of numerals.

However, Richard Nielsen, an amateur linguist, has refuted all of the above citing other 14th century examples.

Further, there was no evidence Öhman ever tried to make money from the stone. Tales of his admission of forgery were started by a jealous peer.

In 2000, a physical analysis of the stone was done. Scott Wolter, a geologist, and Barry Hanson, a chemist, presented "indisputable evidence" that the runes were authentic. They showed that the in-ground weathering process took a minimum of about 200 years. Therefore the carvings were made significantly before 1898. It is unclear how long the carvings were exposed to the air before going underground for 200 years. My guess would be about 350 years.

To come: other runestones in the US.

Triton

Triton is possibly the most awesome moon evar!

It's the largest of Neptune's 13 moons. Only it doesn't fuck around. It has a retrograde orbit!

"Retrograde orbit" means the moon moves in the opposite direction of the planet's rotation.

There are extreme seasonal changes every Neptunian year because its two poles take turns pointing directly at the sun.

Oh, did I mention its orbit is degrading? That means it will fucking crash into Neptune!! Or break apart and become rings around the planet.

Yeah, so that's about it...

...EXCEPT FOR THE CRYOVOLCANOES!!!! Cryovolcanoes are basically volcanoes that spew ice. There is a translucent layer of frozen nitrogen, which creates a "solid greenhouse" effect, which warms layers below. The liquids below the frozen nitrogen erupt and freeze when they exit the cryovolcano!


Awesome!

Bad Penalties

Last night the (still undefeated) Puck Hogs played the Wings. We tied, making us 8-0-1 for the season.

This was the chippiest team we've ever played. The refs called the game relatively fairly until the end of the game. In the second period, Ryan and I had a two on one, racing towards their goal when one of their defensemen hooked me and took me out. He was called for roughing*. Good call.
*The guy who roughed me was checked in open ice later in the period. It's a non-checking league. Our man got 2 for roughing of course. In the third the same guy from our team got in a fight that wasn't entirely his fault and was ejected. In one game he managed to get the most penalty minutes of anyone on the team.

In the third period, though, the puck went against the boards and I went after it, pushing one of their guys into the boards, which is perfectly legal. no one had control of the puck, so I kept the guy tied up when one of their guys dropped his stick, BEAR HUGGED ME from behind, and fell backwards, causing me to land on top of him. That is all kinds of illegal. The refs decided we both deserved penalties. I didn't even realize I was being called too. The other guy was on his way to the box because he knows he's a fucking failure, but when the ref came over to me and said "let's go" I couldn't believe it. As I was skating to the box, I asked the ref what the penalty was. He said "roughing I think." What the hell!

Of my 6 penalty minutes this season (though the website says I have 4 PIMS) I only deserve two of them. First, my other penalty that I didn't deserve: I took the puck into their zone (I forget which team) when one of their guys took me down. He didn't get called. As I was getting up I realized my stick was stuck. I looked down and the guy had let go of his stick and had both hands on my stick. I yanked on it and said something like "let of of my fucking stick motherfucker." He had the deer-in-headlights look in his eyes. The ref called me for cross-checking. Does he even know what cross-checking is??

The one penalty I deserved happened a couple weeks ago. I was against the boards when one of their guys tripped me. Again, no call. As I'm trying to get up, one of their guys grabs my helmet and pushed my head into the boards. Still no call. As the guy stepped over me I grabbed one of his skates and yanked. He went face first into the ice. Two minutes for tripping on me. Excellent call, but where were the other calls??

The HNA refs need to call the games both ways. It gets very frustrating how many liberties they let the other team take with us. I assume it has something to do with us being undefeated, but who knows?

Rio Rancho, NM

This is nowhere near as interesting as California City, CA, but there's sort of the same thing going on in Rio Rancho, New Mexico.

Basically they built all the roads but the population didn't increase as expected.

View Larger Map

Montréal Canadiens 100 Year Anniversary

The Montréal Canadiens are playing their official Centennial Game tonight against the Boston Bruins.

I'd summarize their history for you, but Puck Daddy does a fantastic job in Our begrudging tribute to 100 years of Canadiens hockey.

California City, CA

I was inspired by this blog about California City.

There's a city in the Mojave Desert called California City, CA, incorporated in 1965. Real estate developer Nat Mendelsohn purchased 320 square kilometers* in 1958, envisioning a city that would one day rival Los Angeles. He was wrong, of course.
*The city now has a total area of 527 square km.

The city is the third largest city in CA by land area, but only has 8,000 people in it. For comparison, Rockville, MD has 60,000 people in it.

The downtown area sits around a central park with an artificial lake and looks relatively normal:

Warning: many embedded Google Maps lie beyond!

The Original Six?

The "Original Six" teams in the NHL are the Montréal Canadiens, NY Rangers, Chicago Blackhawks, Boston Bruins, Detroit Red Wings, and the Toronto Maple Leafs. Prepare to have your mind blown: out of the "Original Six," only the Canadiens and the Toronto Maple Leafs (called the Blue Shirts, then the Arenas, then the St. Patricks, then the Maple Leafs) were around when the NHL started in 1917. The Bruins were formed in 1924; the remaining 3 teams joined in 1926. By this time there were 10 teams. Here are the other 4:

Pittsburgh Pirates (1925-1929, 1930: as Philadelphia Quakers; 0 Stanley Cups)


Ottawa Senators (1917-1933 excluding 1931, 1934: as St. Louis Eagles; 4 Stanley Cups)


New York Americans (1919: as Québec Bulldogs, 1920-1924: as Hamilton Tigers, 1925-1941; 0 Stanley Cups)

Montréal Maroons (1924-1938; 2 Stanley Cups)


So what happened to all these teams? The Great Depression killed the Pittsburgh Pirates, the Montréal Maroons, and the Ottawa Senators, reducing the league to 8 teams by 1935. The Maroons attempted for several years to move the team to Philadelphia, but could not find a suitable arena and officially folded in 1947, though they hadn't played since 1938. The New York Americans were struggling financially as well, but did not fold. When World War II hit (remember, Canada entered the war long before the US) 90 players from the NHL quit hockey to fight for Canada. As a result, the New York Americans didn't have enough players to compete in the 1942-43 season and were suspended.

The six remaining teams are still around today. The term actually comes from the 1967 NHL Expansion when the California Golden Seals (who eventually moved to Cleveland as the Barons then merged with the North Stars), Los Angeles Kings, Minnesota North Stars, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, and St. Louis Blues were added.

AT&T 3G Coverage Map

Sure, Verizon has 5 times more 3G coverage than AT&T. But guess what? AT&T's 3G covers about half the population. So who gives a shit? Above, I have superimposed the AT&T 3G coverage map over the US population density. Looks like they have the important parts covered. When Verizon runs ads in DC about there being more coverage, IT DOESN'T MATTER! Run the ads in North Dakota, or Montana, or some other worthless state where AT&T doesn't actually have 3G coverage. Fuck you, Verizon.

Full disclosure: Yes, I have AT&T. However, I hate them. I have tons of network issues and thanks to their constant idiocy, my US iPhone can't do half the things that Canadian or European iPhones can do. Thanks and fuck you too, AT&T.

A Lost Post: San Diego Trip

I discovered a post I had written and forgot about. It was from my September trip to San Diego. Here it is:

After the LHD and DDG and Fry's, we decided to go to the Stone Brewery in Escondido. We had an extremely hard time finding it. Google Maps tries to make you drive through a private street that is blocked off through traffic. Neither of the two people navigating for me could fathom taking any route other than that which Google commanded. I finally looked at the actual map. There are streets EVERYWHERE. It would have been relatively trivial to find an alternate route. Does anyone have any map-reading skills these days anymore that doesn't involve simply obeying directions?

So since it took us many tries to get there (after we found the actual street, for some reason my navigator told me to turn off it and we made a huge circle for some reason) we missed the last brewery tour of the day. There is a restaurant at Stone, though, so we decided to go there. Big mistake. Arbitrary parts of the restaurant are self-seating for beer and appetizers and other arbitrary parts are only if you're eating a full meal, and you must be sat by the hostess. So, there is an indoor bar, an indoor self-seating area, an indoor hostess-seated area, an outdoor bar, an outdoor self-seating area, an outdoor hostess-seated area, a self-seating counter around a fire pit in the middle of the dining area. There aren't any signs or boundaries or anything very obvious, or even subtle, denoting the different areas. A well-placed hostess stand would probably help alleviate some of the problem, but the hostess stand is OUTSIDE of the restaurant. What. The. Hell.

So, we sat ourselves in one of the verboten areas and patiently waited for a waitress and some menus. There were empty tables everywhere. Eventually the first waitress comes over. We said we'd like to order beers and have menus so we can decide if we're eating there. We were informed by the first waitress that this area was only if we're eating a full meal. If we wanted to just have a beer or order an appetizer or something, we'd have to go "over there." So, I asked again for menus because we were probably going to eat, but we'd like to see what they actually have. She again told us to sit "over there." (Mind you, this is before anyone really told us we shouldn't seat ourselves in this "section," except at certain tables/counters.) I said "so you want us to get up, go over there, order a beer, get a menu, decide what I want, come back here, sit down, and order food? Can we just have some menus?" She leaves in a huff, saying she'll get us menus. We never saw her again. A second waitress comes over and asks if we sat ourselves. We said of course. She was the first to inform us we were supposed to go outside the restaurant to the well-hidden hostess stand to be seated, and that this area was only for people dining. Really annoyed by all this, I said "I'd love to eat here but no one will give us any menus." She left, and I didn't expect to see her again. We decided since getting menus was too hard for them, we got up to go to one of the designated areas. But there were NO available tables in the area they kept telling us to go to. The second waitress brought us a menu to look at. A menu. As in 1. There were 4 of us. I said in front of the waitress, "Fuck this place. I'm not eating here." We eventually sat inside at one of the non-marked self-seating areas. I got a beer sampler. It was okay. My coworkers had a small order of tortilla chips for $4 and some $8 hummus. I still refused to eat. Fuck that place. I had dinner when we got back downtown.

Speaking of places that suck, earlier in the week I decided to try out the secret menu at In N Out. I ordered a hamburger Animal Style. I was asked if I wanted my fries animal style too. Sure. Why the hell not? NEVER EVER DO THIS. The Animal Style burger was okay. Just okay. The regular ones are better. Or how about not going to In N Out at all? That would be much better. The Animal Style fries is fries, cheese, grilled onions, and Thousand Island. About a liter of Thousand Island, that is. It is so fucking nasty. And their fries aren't all that great to begin with. Oh, and they charge $3.49 for the privilege of ruining your fries.

Seattle/Alaska Trip

Day 1 - October 23, 2009

I was still half asleep when I got to the airport. So, at first I didn't realize that the guy who looked like Patton Oswalt WAS REALLY PATTON OSWALT! My exchange with him went like this...

Me: You're Patton Oswalt! I love your work! I held out my hand to shake his.
Patton Oswalt: Thanks, dude. Sorry, but I'm getting over a cold.
Me: It's cool.
Patton Oswalt walks off.

Rejected by Patton Oswalt! Awesome!

After that, I was thinking of all the smart, insightful things I could have said. Oh, well.

I then saw him again in line for security. I took this stalker-like photo:


The flight was unmemorable.

When I got to Seattle, I went to the first place that looked good for lunch. It was called ... something or other. Who cares? More importantly, they had a fine selection of not-shitty beers:


I of course got the Moose Drool. It was the best nut brown ale I've ever had.

Seattle was looking pretty much like I pictured:



The interstate is lined with evergreens, and it's like Portland, Maine mixed with Baltimore, Maryland. But unlike Baltimore, it's pretty awesome here.

I went to the Pike St Market...



...the original Starbucks (but not inside)...



...looked at Puget Sound...



...and went to Zion's Gate Records, where I bought At the Gates's Slaughter of the Soul, Katatonia's Discouraged + Brave Murder Day, and Seattle's Book of Black Earth's The Beast.

Next I went to Slim's Last Chance Chili Shack and Watering Hole. It was on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. The chili was rather good. Better than mine.

Then I went to a Western Hockey League game. (The WHL is a junior hockey league. The Thunderbirds' oldest player was born in 1989.) It was the Seattle Thunderbirds vs. the Brandon (Manitoba) Wheat Kings. Brooks Laich (Washington Capitals) and Chris Osgood (Detroit Red Wings) both played for the Thunderbirds back in the day. Bryan McCabe (ex-Toronto Maple Leafs, now Florida Panthers) played for the Wheat Kings. Oh, yeah and there was a fight!



Thnunderbirds lost 4-1.

This post will be updated as my trip progresses.

Best Goalie Masks

I wanted to make a post about the best goalie masks in the NHL, but I'm lazy. Luckily, TSN already did it for me.

My favorites:


Cam Ward
(Carolina Hurricanes)
Blackbeard the Pirate. I hate the stupid old English lettering of "Ward" on the chin, though.




Craig Anderson
(Colorado Avalanche)
Sasquatch, who himself is also wearing a goalie mask. I liked his mask last year when he played for the Florida Panthers. It was a mechanized Panther of doom!




Jonathan Quick
(LA Kings)
How can you go wrong with a knight's helmet?




Envgeni Nabokov
(San Jose Sharks)
A zombie thing of some kind!




Mike Smith
(Tampa Bay Lightning)
YES! Pirates and lightning and stuff! It reminds me of the cover of Symphony X's The Odyssey.




Vesa Toskala
(Toronto Maple Leafs)
He's not on this list because he's a Leaf. He's on this list because skulls fucking rule!




Semyon Varlamov
(Washington Capitals)
I like the whole two-face thing he has going on, but I wish he had picked a better American symbol than Mount Rushmore, since it's nowhere near DC. Great mask nonetheless.

The Balloon Idiots

I'm apparently not as easily distracted by shiny things as the rest of America appears to be. I didn't hear about this balloon thing until it was all over. And not it appears it was a hoax to futher the father's career. Read this from Wikipedia:

The family had been featured twice on the reality television show Wife Swap, the second time as a fan-favorite choice for the show's 100th episode. During his time on the show, Heene claimed to believe humanity descended from aliens, and spoke of launching home-made flying saucers into storms. Heene has made relentless unsuccessful attempts to get media attention for a proposed reality show called "The Science Detectives", which he envisioned as a documentary series "to investigate the mysteries of science". Months before the balloon incident on October 15, 2009, Heene pitched a reality show idea to the television channel TLC, but they passed on the offer.

So he's a constant failure and he decided since he has such a good track record, why not lie to the news?

According to this article, the parents are 'upset' after being given felony criminal charges. You should be upset, ass!

If all the media attention they have now isn't enough (remember, they pretty much just wanted to be famous), then I say follow them around in prison with cameras and air it. And all the money they get from the show? Yeah, they don't get it. Give it to the prison system or something. Or give it to the people whose flights were canceled in Denver because of these jerks.

Wait a minute, I bet you're going "but they're innocent until proven guilty!" Well, how about this:

...[Robert] Thomas [who had worked with Heene for two months last spring] told CNN that at one point they were talking about the Roswell UFO incident of the late 1940s, when Heene said it would be easy to cook up "a media stunt that would be equally profound as Roswell, and we could do so with nothing more than a weather balloon and some controversy."

Also, I found this rather unsurprising:

Heene has been described as a meteorologist, but his education ended at the high school level.

Also, that stupid balloon of his? From this article,

The father built the 20ft by 5ft silver helium balloon in his yard and it was designed as a transport vehicle of the future so "people can pull out of their garage and hover 50ft to 100ft above traffic."

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! A balloon is not a vehicle of the future SINCE THEY PREDATE AIRPLANES!

Oh, yeah, and to make matters worse, this moron is one of those David Icke nutjobs. HE THINKS HILLARY CLINTON IS A ONE OF OUR SHAPESHIFTING REPTILIAN OVERLORDS! AHGHAGHGHGH.

Lock him up for eternity I say!

Blurnsball

I'd like someone to find and buy me a New New York Yankees hat...



...and a foam claw....


BLUUUURRRRRRN!

Mr. Boh

I'm fairly sure that Mr. Boh...



...lost his other eye in a bar fight with Julius Pringles...



...over the Utz Girl...


...but I think Mr. Boh won because....

Baltimore Blizzards

In NHL09, if you create a player, he automatically goes into the Free Agent roster. If you create a team, you can build it out of players from any team. However, if you want to use your created team in a season or dynasty, you must replace another team. But, any players you created stay in the Free Agent roster. So, even though a created player is on your team, there is another copy of him as a free agent, who then gets sucked into playing on other teams.

So, I'm in year 2 of a dynasty using the Baltimore Blizzards (who replaced the Anaheim Ducks). Nearly all of the players on the team are also on other teams. I was wondering how much of an advantage playing on the Baltimore Blizzards must be to each player, as the Blizzards are in fact the best team in town. I am only 23 games into the second year. (BTW, we were eliminated from the playoffs last year in the first round by Vancouver, whose goalie is awfully familiar....)

First I gathered all the stats...

#	Name	Other Team	G (BBZ)	G (Other)	A (BBZ)	A (Other)	PTS (BBZ)	PTS (Other)	PIMS (BBZ)	PIMS (Other)	+/- (BBZ)	+/- (Other)	Hits (BBZ)	Hits (Other)
9	T. Regan	NYI	35	13	21	11	45	24	36	4	51	19	148	60
11	K. Brooks	NYI	19	9	24	18	43	27	15	0	51	19	52	36
13	D. Miller	LA	3	1	26	13	29	14	26	19	53	-6	152	20
14	S. Marasinghe	BUF	0	0	6	7	6	7	27	21	4	-11	34	48
25	M. Phelps	MTL	4	23	4	10	8	3	4	13	12	6	21	18
26	A. El-Zeftawy	NAS	3	5	26	10	29	15	48	36	49	-3	105	72
27	M. Regan	CBJ	0	1	9	12	9	13	42	63	21	-9	73	105
38	A. Goldberger	FLA	2	4	4	15	7	19	0	9	4	6	23	55
42	J. Jones	CBJ	5	5	5	19	10	24	2	0	12	-2	21	50
48	M. Ibach	EDM	1	5	3	7	4	12	4	6	5	5	8	18
49	C. Ebadi	MTL	4	2	6	6	10	8	12	7	8	-3	49	42
51	A. Glaros	FLA	6	14	4	9	10	23	8	6	8	14	27	14
64	B. Twomey	CAR	13	15	18	12	31	27	14	8	46	4	51	49
69	D. Houser	FLA	2	9	6	17	8	26	15	7	10	11	39	57
76	M. Clise	BOS	5	4	3	2	8	6	16	13	8	-6	9	8
90	R. Cobbinz	MIN	1	2	9	10	10	12	5	9	7	4	51	23

#	Name	Other Team	GP (BBZ)	GP (Other)	GAA (BBZ)	GAA (Other)	W (BBZ)	W (Other)	L (BBZ)	L (Other)	SV% (BBZ)	SV% (Other)	SO (BBZ)	SO (Other)
0	T. Reganen	VAN	17	19	2.16	2.59	11	7	5	12	0.876	0.909	1	0

Then I took the Baltimore Blizzards stat for each player and subtracted the other team's stat for each player....

#	Name	Other Team	ΔG	ΔA	ΔPTS	ΔPIMS	Δ+/-	ΔHits
9	T. Regan	NYI	22	10	21	32	32	88
11	K. Brooks	NYI	10	6	16	15	32	16
13	D. Miller	LA	2	13	15	7	59	132
14	S. Marasinghe	BUF	0	-1	-1	6	15	-14
25	M. Phelps	MTL	-19	-6	5	-9	6	3
26	A. El-Zeftawy	NAS	-2	16	14	12	52	33
27	M. Regan	CBJ	-1	-3	-4	-21	30	-32
38	A. Goldberger	FLA	-2	-11	-12	-9	-2	-32
42	J. Jones	CBJ	0	-14	-14	2	14	-29
48	M. Ibach	EDM	-4	-4	-8	-2	0	-10
49	C. Ebadi	MTL	2	0	2	5	11	7
51	A. Glaros	FLA	-8	-5	-13	2	-6	13
64	B. Twomey	CAR	-2	6	4	6	42	2
69	D. Houser	FLA	-7	-11	-18	8	-1	-18
76	M. Clise	BOS	1	1	2	3	14	1
90	R. Cobbinz	MIN	-1	-1	-2	-4	3	28

#	Name	Other Team	ΔGP	ΔGAA	ΔW	ΔL	ΔSV%	ΔSO
0	T. Reganen	VAN	-2	-0.43	4	-7	-0.033	1

So, here's my analysis thus far in the season....

Defensive players (Miller, Marasinghe, El-Zeftawy, M. Regan, Houser, Cobbinz) generally have much better +/-'s on the Blizzards, and of course, a lot more penalties. Baltimore's top line (El-Zeftawy & Miller) gets many many more hits and assists in Baltimore. I expected this to be the trend across the board. I'm surprised.

Forwards are pretty much all over the place. However, the +/- is usually better, and there's probably more penalties to be had on the Blizzards.

As for star goalie Timo Reganen, he wins a lot more on the Blizzards, but his save percentage isn't as high. He lets in fewer goals on the Blizzards and wins more, but he's also facing fewer shots.

Players that are better off on the Baltimore Blizzards:
In all areas, the following players had higher numbers on the Blizz: D. Miller, T. Regan, K. Brooks, and M. Clise.

I was expecting all the stats to be more clear cut than this. I'll probably revisit this when the season ends.... But after the playoffs, it doesn't matter which team players would have been better off statistically on, as long as Baltimore wins the Cup, hon.