Unsweeted Sweet Tea?

Popeye's has "Cane Sweeeet" Iced Tea. But it comes in sweet and unsweet. It's not "Cane Sweeeet" then, is it?

Corrosion of Conformity - Blind

I saw Corrosion of Conformity (Blind) at the Ottobar, June 19, 2010. They played pretty much every song from the best CoC album (Blind, obviously). They are not to be confused with the Animosity lineup of CoC, which is the lineup from when the band was a hardcore punk/thrash crossover band. Reed Mullin (drums) plays in both, so I guess he gets two paychecks.

The performance was amazing. The band is incredibly tight, especially the rhythm section. This was more than worth missing the Scorpions for. And it was nice to not have Pepper Keenan stealing everyone's spotlight. And best of all, I got one of Reed Mullin's drumsticks.

And I just discovered they made a video for "Dance of the Dead":

Outlook's Spellcheck

My Outlook suggested "spa" as the correct spelling of "μPa" -- micro Pascals, a unit of pressure. Did it think I accidentally hit the μ key?

For "1pm" it suggested "Pam." This one baffles me even more. Am I just hitting keys that look vaguely like the letters I want?

I can't tell what's stupider: Outlook's spell check, or how stupid my Outlook thinks I am.

Northwest Angle

The Northwest Angle is the small chunk of Minnesota that is north of the 49th parallel. It's the only part of the continental 48 north of the 49th that isn't an island.

At the end of the Revolutionary War, the Treaty of Paris states the the boundary between the US and future Canada would run "...through the Lake of the Woods to the northwestern most point thereof, and from thence on a due west course to the river Mississippi...." However, the Mississippi starts south of the northwestern most point of the Lake of the Woods, so you can't draw a line west to it.

In 1818, another treaty was signed stating the northern boundary of the US would be the 49th parallel, so a line was drawn from the northwest point down to the 49th.

To get to this thriving metropolis (pop: 152 in 2000), you can fly or take a boat. But if you insist on driving, be sure you use a telephone at Jim's Corner, Youngs Bay Marina or Carlsons Landing to contact Customs and make your declarations, since the border crossing is unmanned.

West Florida

Western Florida is fuckin' weird. It's essentially southern Alabama. Pensacola is actually closer (by car) to Evansville, IN than it is to Miami. Shouldn't it be separated from the rest of Florida?

Well, at one point, they tried.

For 90 days in 1810, West Florida was its own country when its British settlers rebelled against the Spanish. It included Baton Rouge (LA), Mobile (AL), and Jackson (MS) among its cities. The US basically took over starting with the Louisiana Purchase.

Today, Pensacola calls itself the City of Five Flags, based on the 4 countries and 1 failed country that have controlled the city: Spain, Great Britain, France, USA, and the Confederate States of America.

In my opinion, this area probably shouldn't exist. Nature keeps attempting to take it out, what with Katrina and the oil spill and such. Just a thought....

Girls = Evil?

Have you ever seen this?

It's as wrong as it is stupid.

"Girls require time and money."

So where the hell did "Girls = time x money" come from?!

What would be more accurate would be:

where a, b, and c are constants with units that will make the units check out, $ is money, and x is whatever else girls require.

If "time = money" (I'll ignore the fact that $ and seconds are not the same dimension for now) and assigning a + b = d:

Now, "money is the root of ALL evil" so:

where E is evil. This assumes "evil" necessitates a volume integral ("evil to the core").

Leading us to:

So, basically, by my math, girls are fucking complicated and impossible to figure out.

CVS Sucks

I realized the other day I've never been to a CVS where the wait in line was reasonable. Every time I go, it's usually just to buy something quick, but then I have to stand in line for 10-15 minutes.

It seems to me that they're understaffed, untrained, and lazy. The customers are no help either. There's always someone trying to return something that shouldn't be returned, or arguing over clearly marked prices, or can never find their CVS card.

And how useless is that thing?!

I hate CVS, but I know I'll end up in one soon enough, standing in an unnecessarily long line, seething in rage.

My Day of Jury Duty

I served jury duty the other day. I kept some notes about the process:

8:30a
When going through security I removed my steel toe boots to go through the metal detector. After passing through without setting off the alarm, the guard told me I must have shoes on. I said, "They're steel toed. They'll set the alarm off." "You must have shoes." "They will set the alarm off. Because of the steel." "No shoes." I went back through without setting the alarm off, put my boots on, walked back through, this time setting the alarm off, and the security guard fucking wanded me. Fucking moron.

9:00a
Court orientation video starring Datelines's Lea Thompson.

9:20a
"if you so choose to do so"

9:25a
"I didn't bring cash or credit cards for lunch. What do I do?" Starve.

9:35a
Falling asleep and hungry. There are vending machines but all I have is a $10 bill.

10:40a
They put the World Cup on in the back of the room. Côte d'Ivoire v. Portugal.

11:07a
Number called.

12:00p
Chosen for jury.

4:00p
Rendered verdict. (Not guilty.)

4:30p
Received cool $15.

Maryland's Flag

Maryland's flag is awesome. Admit it. That's right.

It's based on the heraldic banner of George Calvert, 1st Baron Baltimore. The black and gold is the coat of arms of the Calvert family and the red and white is the Crossland (Calvert's mother) coat of arms.

Ready for some craziness, though? This design also shows up in the coat of arms of Ferryland, Newfoundland, Canada:

This happened because Ferryland was given to George Calvert in 1620, so of course he painted his logos all over it.

Am I That Threatening On The Ice?

Last night was our playoff game for the spring season. I drew 3 penalties. Apparently I'm so threatening that the other team needs to take me out by any means necessary.

• First, I had a breakaway where one of their defenders took me out. I landed on all pads and slid into the boards. They called 2 minutes for hooking (I think -- I haven't seen the official box score).
• Later I was going after the puck in their zone and was checked from behind. 2 minutes.
• Finally, in the third, I was high sticked in the face. (Or the cage, rather.) Another 2 minutes.

This is the second game in a row where I was more or less targeted by the other team's players.

In the previous game, I was playing defense and even more things happened to me:

• I was checked after the whistle and landed hard on my hip. That took a little while to feel better. No call.
• I was hooked a little later in their zone. No call.
• In a situation just like last time, the puck went to the boards and me and this guy went after it. He fucking slashed my stick so I pushed him hard and steadily into the boards, which is perfectly legal because we were both there and he was covering the puck. Then one of their other guys comes and checks me. I got up and screamed "What the fuck is wrong with you, you fucking asshole?!?!" He said "I didn't like what you were doing to my guy." "This is a fucking non-checking league!" "You were--" "(mocking) You were wah wah wah wah FUCK YOU!" and I skated to the bench. He got a 2-minute roughing penalty. I'm told he was trying to kick me with his skate, too.
• Shortly thereafter, while I was on  the bench, this one asshole checks our best player in open ice. No call. The period ends and he starts yelling at one of our guys near our bench about it. I got up and yelled "Shut the fuck up, go back to your bench, and sit the fuck down!" He looks up and skates to the bench and comes up to our alternate captain and said real quietly, "What did you say to me?" I said "It was me and I told you to sit the fuck down, asshole!" Before he could do anything, the ref comes over and makes him go sit down.
• Later I got slashed in the shin just below my shin pad. I couldn't skate for a few minutes. No call. Still hurts.

I refused to shake their hands. It's the first time I've ever done that.

I really don't think I'm such an amazing player that I need to be taken out at this level. I had 4 shots in both the last games combined. Only 1 of them was any good.

I'm usually leading the forecheck and I will cover the man on the point, which will occasionally lead to a breakaway, but that's really what any wing should be doing.

Frankly the two teams mentioned above shouldn't be in the D league. They both have several ringers that should be playing 2 leagues above us. We hold them off as best we can, but it does get frustrating in the long run. I'm looking forward to the winter season when the teams have been evened out a little better.

Conch Republic

The Florida Keys like to call themselves the Conch Republic. Back in 1982, the United States Border Patrol set up a road block and inspection point on US 1, the only road in and out of the Keys. The Keys were rather annoyed by this huge inconvenience and were insulted they were being treated as a foreign country. The City Council of Key West complained repeatedly to the US Government and even attempted to get an injunction against the roadblock. On April 23, Mayor Dennis Wardlow of Key West declared the Keys' independence from America. He then declared war on the US by breaking a piece of stale Cuban bread over a man in a Naval uniform. After one minute, he surrendered to the man in uniform and demanded one billion dollars in foreign aid, since they were on occupied nation. Three years later, the US invaded the Conch Republic.

...well, sort of. From Wikipedia:

On September 20, 1995, it was reported that the 478th Civil Affairs Battalion of the United States Army Reserve was to conduct a training exercise simulating an invasion of a foreign island. They were to land on Key West and conduct affairs as if the islanders were foreign. However, no one from the 478th notified Conch officials of the exercise.

Seeing another chance at publicity, Wardlow and the forces behind the 1982 Conch Republic secession mobilized the island for a full-scale war (in the Conch Republic, this involves firing water cannons from fireboats and hitting people with stale Cuban bread), and protested to the Department of Defense for arranging this exercise without consulting the City of Key West. The leaders of the 478th issued an apology the next day, and they submitted to a surrender ceremony on September 22.


During the Federal government shutdown of 1995, as a protest, the Republic sent a flotilla of Conch Navy, civilian and fire department boats to Fort Jefferson, located in Dry Tortugas National Park, in order to reopen it. The action was dubbed a "full scale invasion" by the Conch Republic. Inspired by efforts of the Smithsonian Institution to keep its museums open by private donations, local residents had raised private money to keep the park running (a closed park would damage the tourist-dependent local economy), but could find no one to accept the money and reopen the park.

When officials attempted to enter the monument, they were cited. When the citation was contested in court the following year, the resultant case, The United States of America v. Peter Anderson, was quickly dropped.

 Then there's the annexation of the old 7 Mile Bridge! But, I'll leave that to you to research.

Going Even Further South in the US

Here are some places more farther south than the "Southernmost" point in the continental US:

• Ballast Key, FL - The ACTUAL REAL southernmost point in the continental US.
• Ka Lae, HI - The southernmost point in all 50 states.
• Rose Atoll, American Samoa -The southernmost point in all US territories
• Armundsen-Scott South Pole Station, Antarctica - Southermost point under US jurisdiction.

The "Southernmost" Point in the Continental US

I went to Key West, FL recently. One tourist attraction there is the Southernmost Point Buoy, located at Whitehead St and South St. There was a freakin' line to get pictures in front of it. I wasn't about to wait, so I just snapped a picture of some strangers in front of it:

But it's a lie! A total lie! Check out this map, where the "A" Marker is the "southernmost" point:

The only real accessible southernmost Southernmost is at the end of White St.:

There is a bit of land just a bit more southern, but it's of the Navy base, so we weren't able to get to it.

The Civil War Was About Slavery

I had a conversation recently with someone who claimed that the Confederate states seceded not because of slavery, but instead because they believed in states' rights.

Four states issued formal declarations of why they were leaving the Union. So, let's have a look at the Declarations of Causes of Secession for the traitor states:

Georgia

For the last ten years we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slave-holding confederate States with reference to the subject of African slavery.

That was the second sentence. Sounds like Georgia seceded because of slavery.

Mississippi

Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery-- the greatest material interest of the world.

Also the second sentence of their Declaration. Sounds like it was a major reason indeed!

South Carolina

The people of the State of South Carolina, in Convention assembled, on the 26th day of April, A.D., 1852, declared that the frequent violations of the Constitution of the United States, by the Federal Government, and its encroachments upon the reserved rights of the States, fully justified this State in then withdrawing from the Federal Union; but in deference to the opinions and wishes of the other slaveholding States, she forbore at that time to exercise this right

 Yeah, they did manage to talk about states having rights and slaves.

Texas

The controlling majority of the Federal Government, under various pretences and disguises, has so administered the same as to exclude the citizens of the Southern States, unless under odious and unconstitutional restrictions, from all the immense territory owned in common by all the States on the Pacific Ocean, for the avowed purpose of acquiring sufficient power in the common government to use it as a means of destroying the institutions of Texas and her sister slaveholding States.

Texas had to brag first about being its own country for a while, so this ended up being the fourth paragraph. The third paragraph talks about how they like slaves, damnit!

Not enough evidence for you? Okay, How about this:

Our new Government is founded upon exactly the opposite ideas; its foundations are laid, its cornerstone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery, subordination to the superior race, is his natural and moral condition. [Applause.] This, our new Government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth.

This was spoken by Confederate States Vice President Alexander H. Stevens.

States' rights indeed.