The Southern Ocean

The Southern Ocean?! When did this happen?!

When I was in school, there were only 4 oceans:

1. Arctic Ocean
2. Atlantic Ocean
3. Indian Ocean
4. Pacific Ocean

But in 2000, they decided to officially add the Southern Ocean. Yes, officially. They were trying to add the Southern Ocean since 1937! Who are "they," you ask? "They" are the people who name oceans, the International Hydrographic Organization, of which 68 nations are members. (The Democratic Republic of the Congo is suspended from the IHO, probably because they realized it has less than 25 miles of actual coastline. Also, they misspelled "ocean" on their application form.)

The IHO sent out surveys in 2000 to its member nations, asking if they wanted to define the Southern Ocean as a new ocean. Twenty-seven nations responded "hell yes!" Argentina (and only Argentina) responded with "fuck no!" The other 40 countries probably had actual work to do.

So, as a fuck you to Argentina, we now have 5 oceans.

I thought of two good ways to end this post, so go ahead and take your pick:

Ending #1:
I bet this is how people in Medieval times felt when they found out there are more than seven seas.

Ending #2:
Maybe they felt bad about taking Pluto away from us, so they gave us a new ocean.