The Bargain Channel

Hey, I've got a great idea! Groupon... on the radio!

Someone actually said that at some point. And now, in Jacksonville, FL, 92.1 FM is The Bargain Channel. They basically took a bunch of no-talent, hack DJs and have them sell coupons on the air. The coupons are usually something like $75 off Al's Stump Removal. You call up the request line and buy the coupon for something like $10. The radio station makes $10 and Al honors the coupon.

I stumbled upon the station last night since I forgot my AUX cable for my MP3 player. The DJ on at the time reminded me of O'Dell from the Cutlery Corner infomercials I used to watch late at night in college. You know, this show.

Now the DJ isn't there alone. There is always a sidekick type person helping move the show along. This other person, for some reason, has dialed in. That's right, they have one guy on a microphone and one guy on the telephone hosting the show. It makes no sense.

The hypnotizing thing about the radio station is listening to these terrible DJs attempt to entice you into buying whatever deal they have at the moment. This morning, they were selling a coupon for Beachside Seafood in Jacksonville Beach. (Quick aside: This station is on 24/7 with the same programming the entire time. Seriously.) I've been to Beachside Seafood. In fact, here's my poorly written review on the place. I wouldn't go back even if I did pay $3 to get $10 off my entire order.

But I digress. Since the DJ didn't have many callers, he started to read the menu from Beachside Seafood (which, by the way isn't on the beach, as he repeatedly claimed). It went something like this: "Aw check it out, they got um, they got snow crab clusters and uh snow crab legs, and let's see dungeness crab, and yeah look it, uh, that crawfish platter, and mm yeah they got uh, they got uh, beer battered cheesesticks and corn nuggets, and fried pickle chips. I love those." It's like listening to a trainwreck.

The good news is that they have a Ustream channel. Unfortunately they haven't touched it in two years, but you can hear an old broadcast here.

West Florida

Western Florida is fuckin' weird. It's essentially southern Alabama. Pensacola is actually closer (by car) to Evansville, IN than it is to Miami. Shouldn't it be separated from the rest of Florida?

Well, at one point, they tried.

For 90 days in 1810, West Florida was its own country when its British settlers rebelled against the Spanish. It included Baton Rouge (LA), Mobile (AL), and Jackson (MS) among its cities. The US basically took over starting with the Louisiana Purchase.

Today, Pensacola calls itself the City of Five Flags, based on the 4 countries and 1 failed country that have controlled the city: Spain, Great Britain, France, USA, and the Confederate States of America.

In my opinion, this area probably shouldn't exist. Nature keeps attempting to take it out, what with Katrina and the oil spill and such. Just a thought....

I Just Want a Fucking Cab

Miami sucks. After dinner we wanted a cab back to the hotel. There were 5 of us. There was a minivan taxi, so we went over to it. That cabbie made some excuse why he couldn't take us in his empty cab (in broken English, mind you).

I wondered aloud as we walked away from this moron and the other 2 cabbies who wouldn't take us "when did we enter Barbados?"

Then the next group of cabs kept asking why the van wouldn't take us. I got to the point where I was saying "I just want to go back to the hotel. There are 7 empty cabs here. Why is this so hard?"

The world would be a better place without Miami.