Where Are The Rupublicans?

So let me get this straight: we have several blizzards and all the Republicans* go off about how global warming is obviously fake because local weather conditions = global climate. Now we have record breaking heat in April and I haven't heard a peep from anyone! Why? Because it is against their pre-determined conclusion that global climate change is a myth. I bet even the Republicans in Minnesota, who had their first snowless March since 1878, still deny it.

So where did they all go? I think they're all somewhere trying to prove that health care reform is somehow making us all Communists.

Mind you, snowless Marches and mini heat waves aren't good arguments for global climate change. I should say it again because it bears repeating:
Weather ≠ Climate
*Feel free to replace this word with whatever group you hate: Libertarians, deniers, the French, Creationists, etc.

Not That I Need Science To Show How Right I Am....

...but here's a temperature anomaly plot from NOAA from last October showing that although the US is colder at the moment, worldwide the temperature trend is warming.

Where's your data, climate change deniers? Oh, it's all anecdotal? Why am I not surprised?

Forget The Oceans Boiling! We Will All Freeze To Death!!

Using science, I have determined that we will not live to see the oceans boil off on February 6, 2010 because ALL MOLECULAR MOTION WILL STOP SOMETIME IN THE MORNING OF JANUARY 25, 2010!!!!

As you can see from my scientific graph, using current temperature trends of a local area over a short amount of time, it is clear that the planet is rapidly cooling off! By late January, we will reach absolute zero, and continue to plummet below it, thus stopping all molecular motion worldwide! Since I and all the news outlets have determined that this is a scientifically sound method, my conclusions are quite valid!

Okay, okay you get the idea!


Please, you people, don't let the random "scientific" article of the day distract you from the fact that global climate change is real and we must do something about it, despite what Fox News says. And let's not forget that the media is trying to hard to not be labeled "liberal" that they will post an opposing viewpoint, no matter how scientifically unsound it is.

WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE GLACIERS?!?!

THE OCEANS WILL BOIL OFF IN THREE WEEKS!

If there's anything reading the news has taught me, it's that you can create a news story regarding global warming without consulting experts to prove any point you like! Further you can use local data sets collected over a short amount of time to make your point and as long as you throw in the word scientists and leave out the phrase peer-reviewed journal.

So, after extensive research, scientists such as myself have come to the startling revelation that THE OCEANS WILL BEGIN TO BOIL OFF ON FEBRUARY 6, 2010!

Just look at this scientific graph:

I collected my data from NOAA's 3-day forecast. I noticed an alarming warming trend! Since this will continue, the oceans will begin to boil on Saturday, February 6, 2010!

EVERYBODY PANIC!

Snow? And It's Still Global Warming?

If you pretend this article is satire, it's amusing. Sadly, it doesn't appear to be so.

SNOW CHAOS: AND THEY STILL CLAIM IT'S GLOBAL WARMING

This article has no data to back up its claims and frightening-sounding numbers that aren't compared to any averages. This is the epitome of poor journalism, poor science, and poor thinking.

How can I put this more simply?

Weather ≠ Climate