The Heaviest Heavy That Ever Heavied

Great news! All Metal/Hard Rock promotion has been reduced to a single adjective: HEAVY.

Everything is heavy! It's going to sound heavy! It's heavier than the last one! Heavy! Has the word "heavy" been ruined for you yet? No? Then keep reading!

SOUNDGARDEN Guitarist On New Album: 'The Vibe Of The Songs Is Definitely Very Heavy'

Well that clears everything up, doesn't it??

TESTAMENT Bassist On New Album: 'It's Coming To Be, And It's Heavy As S**t'

Okay okay I get it. You don't know what the album sounds like, do you?

EVANESCENCE Singer: New Album Is 'Probably The Heaviest Record We've Ever Done'

Gah! Choose a new word!

SEBASTIAN BACH Says His New Album Cover Is 'As Heavy As Rock 'N' Roll Can Be'

Sigh. At least no one is using it as a verb.

"We've decided that we wanna heavy it up a little bit on this next record"

Well, at least they're calling the music heavy and not just calling anything and everything heavy.

SLIPKNOT Singer Says Two Minutes Of Silence For Fallen Bassist Will Be 'Pretty Heavy' 

AHGHGHAHGAHG

What the Hell is Radiation Measured In?

If you're anything like me, you've been reading about the incident a the Fukushima power plant, then eventually read up a little on Three Mile Island and Chernobyl. I've noticed that whenever they talk about radiation it's always measured in some other way.

From this article:

The National Institute of Radiological Sciences said that 3.9 million becquerels per square centimeter of radiation had been detected in the water that the three workers stepped in — 10,000 times the level normally seen in coolant water at the plant.

The injured workers’ dosimeters suggested exposure to 170 millisieverts of radiation.

They measure it one way in one paragraph, then in the next freaking paragraph they measure it differently!

Well, here are all the ways radiation is measured:

Curie (Ci) / Becquerels (Bq)

Curies/Becquerels are measures of actual radioactive radiation. Curies (obviously named for Marie Curie) are the conventional unit, whereas Becquerels (named for another radiation pioneer, Henri Becquerel) are the SI unit. You know, SI, like kilometers instead of miles.

They are defined as:
1 Ci = 3.7×10¹⁰ decays per second = 37 GBq

Obviously, one Becquerel is one radiatoactive decay per second. So, every time an atom emits one tiny chunk of radiation, it is 1 Bq.

Technically, the "becquerels per square centimeter" the article used isn't really a measure of radiation, but it does provide a measurable reference for radiation.

rad / Gray (Gy)
Rads/Grays are measures of absorbed ionizing radiation. Ionizing radiation is radiation that can detach electrons from atoms or molecules. One Gray (the SI unit) is defined as:

1 Gy = 1 Joule of energy absorbed / 1 kilogram of absorbing medium -- usually human tissue
1 rad = .01 Gy

It was named for Louis Gray, who was a British physicist.

Anyway, if you're exposed to some for of radiation (X-rays, for example) that can knock your electrons loose, the amount of energy you absorb is measured in Grays.

rem / Sievert (Sv)
Okay, now it gets fun. Sieverts (named for Rolf Sievert, a Swedish physicist who apparently exposed all sorts of things to radiation) are an attempt to take the absorbed dose (in Gy) and relate it to the biological effects of the radiation.

1 Sv = (1 Gy)W
1 rem = (1 rad)W

W here is a weighting factor that depends on the type of radiation and the type of tissue being measured. Gamma rays and X-rays are going to have different effects on the same tissue.

As a point of comparison that the article didn't feel the need to provide, 170 mSv (the radiation dose the workers were exposed to) is about half of one entire year's worth of natural radiation (300 mSv). One dental X-ray is up to .15 mSv. One mammogram is .7 mSv. I, for one, wouldn't volunteer for 243 simultaneous mammograms.

Ultra Bonus Extra Radiation Measurement:
Roentgen (R)
This one... hmmm... I'm not even going to try to figure this one out. Why don't you read about it for yourself?

Stupid Article About IKEA

I was reading this article about IKEA. Aside from the obviousness that, yes, they're trying to keep you in the store longer to buy more things, what really annoyed me about this article was this picture and the accompanying caption:

A-mazing: A route a customer took through a store. Professor Alan Penn said they are designed to stop customers leaving

Clearly this isn't a route a customer took through a store. It's the route FIVE customers took through a store. Furthermore, who's to say they didn't enjoy walking though the store? There's some neat stuff in there. Something drew these customers to the store in the first place. They weren't forced into a maze and told "now get to the exit!" That map, I'm sure, would look quite different.

And the whole premise of the article is wrong. IKEA doesn't stop customers from leaving, they just get the customers to walk by as much merchandise as possible. Grocery stores do it too. Department stores, as well. Why do you think the escalator is always in the worst place possible? Hell, all retail stores do it.

Fox News's Response to the Rally To Restore Sanity and/or Fear

Fox & Friends on Fox News, which some people unfortunately think is a source of news, responded to the rally with a well-researched, well-thought out response to the message of the Rally to Restore Sanity.

Just kidding. They missed the point entirely and attacked Jon Stewart.



If you can't stomach the video, here are some of the extremely moronic things they said:

• They claim Stewart attacks the right, then "attempts" to work the crowd into getting out to vote. But then they show a clip of him defending Tea Partiers and Juan Williams and not talking about voting at all. (In reality, the rally attacked all the stupid news networks, even NPR.)
• They pretended not to know Colbert's name.
• They claim he and Colbert are not news men, they're comedians. Reading the news every night on a news show makes you a newsman, goddamnit! Using their logic, it's good to know that Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck are just DJs and not news men/political commentators.
• They justify the large crowd by pointing out that Oprah and the Huffington Post bussed people in. I'm sure that's where they all came from. No way people could actually be fed up with the idiocy of 24-hour news networks.
• They belittle the message and diminish it by (again) saying they're comedians. They also comment that he looks sharp in his suit, "just like a real newsman." So, to be a newsman at Fox, you need a suit and to not be a comedian.
• Then they have a conservative comedian talk about the horrors he and Fox News went through while being at the rally, claiming there was more animosity there than any Tea Partiers would have (nevermind openly hating immigrants and homosexuals). This guy then missed the point of the rally (news networks don't help anyone anywhere ever).
• They said they were surprised there wasn't more violence.
• At the bottom of the screen it says "Thousands attend DC rally yesterday." No, it was over 200,000. That should say "Hundreds of the thousands attend DC rally yesterday."
• They speculated that people only came for the bands.
• Then they show Ozzy doing "Crazy Train" but of course they chose the one part where his singing is the worst.
• Then they briefly show the duel between "Peace Train" and "Crazy Train" ... but completely left out the "Love Train" compromise.
• Then they claim that Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) -- who sang "Peace Train" -- was involved in a Fatwa against Salman Rushdie, nevermind the fact that he never supported it. You see what they did there? They had a Muslim! Muslims are bad! Let's all ignore the part of the rally where they warned against treating all Muslims like terrorists. Furthermore, they acted like he just changed his name. He changed his name OVER 30 YEARS AGO.

Damnit, now I'm all pissed off. Time to vote.

Violent Music Leads To Quadruple Murder!

Article: Aspiring Rapper Pleads Guilty To Killing 4 in VA

Another juicy article from the AP that can't wait to point out that this murderer listened to violent music.

An aspiring rapper in the "horrorcore" genre pleaded guilty Monday to killing his 16-year-old girlfriend, her parents and her friend days after the adults chaperoned the teens at a music festival featuring artists rhyming about raping, killing and mutilating people.

It's in the first paragraph!

The "journalist" doesn't squeeze anymore unnecessary connections to the violent music until much farther down in the article. Then, tucked pretty much out of sight, there's this gem:

Asked if McCroskey's musical interests had fueled his rage, Bowen said, "Much of that music is so rampant with this exact kind of behavior, you can't help but notice the coincidence. But I don't have a sense the music led to this kind of behavior."

The reporter doing the interview was trying to milk a soundbyte out of the attorney. Thankfully the murderer's attorney isn't a blithering idiot like most of our country.

It's really simple: murderers are batshit insane. It doesn't matter what they listen to or read. If you disagree, how about you force your kids to read something safe and nonviolent, like The Catcher in the Rye?

WTOP Did No Research, Then Tricks You

WTOP: Is Google ready to swim in Facebook's pool?

Here's how this article starts:

Top search engine Google could be jumping into the social networking pool, in an effort that could have it competing with Facebook.

Okay, stop right there. Google already operates a social networking site called Orkut. It's huge in Brazil and India. In fact it's the 65th most visited site worldwide and has 100 million active users. That's as much as the entire population of Michigan, including the bums.

The article then pulls a bait-and-switch, talking about some game developers and how they won't have to run their games through Facebook anymore or something. This has little-to-nothing to do with social networking. This is why I hate you, WTOP.

Fake Yo-Yo Guy Screws with Local News

Kenny Strasser has been added to my list of personal heroes. He scored a handful of interviews on local news programs pretending to be a yo-yo champion. Observe:



So, what does one of these stations do after the interview invariably goes to hell? They make a news segment based on research that none of the stations did before booking the interview!



Way to fail.

The New York Times is Stupid

For Corn Syrup, the Sweet Talk Gets Harder

This article basically tries to say that high fructose corn syrup isn't bad for you, but more Americans don't want it anyway. Yet the only science the article mentions is buried deep within the article AND the conclusions were that HFCS is bad for you.

This is happening even though many scientists say that high-fructose corn syrup is no worse for people than sugar, which costs some 40 percent more.

Many scientists, huh? Like who?

Leading scientists, however, say that the product, made when various chemicals convert corn starch into syrup, is not any worse than sugar. Both sweeteners are made up of roughly equal amounts of glucose and fructose, they say.

Oh, they're leading scientists now? Let's be clear here. Sure, sugar and HFCS are made up of equal amounts of glucose and fructose, but there is a distinct difference. Sugar is actually sucrose, which is fructose and glucose bonded together. HFCS is just a pile of each. Throwing LEGOs into a bag doesn't make a Troll Assault Wagon. You have to put it together!

“I’m no fan of the Corn Refiners Association, but in this case they have biochemistry on their side,” says Marion Nestle, a professor of nutrition at New York University who has campaigned against unhealthy foods marketed to children.

Marion Nestle? What's that? You have books to sell? How convenient that you're available for New York Times interviews.

Although it hasn’t done much good yet, Ms. Erickson [President of the Corn Refiners Association] continues to point out that science does not support the demonization of the product.

Of course the president of the Corn Refiners Association has plenty of "science" to say their product isn't killing Americans. They have spent millions of dollars on inconclusive studies and even more on advertising and PR. There have been plenty of studies about whether HFCS has adverse health effects. And wouldn't you know it, most of the ones defending HFCS were funded by corn refiners!

Finally, some actual science performed by actual scientists:

In the recent Princeton study... one group of rats was given access to high-fructose corn syrup, while another got sugar-sweetened drinks. The study found that rats that gulped lots of drinks with high-fructose corn syrup gained more weight than those that had the sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same.

You want proof that HFCS sucks? Have a Passover Coke, Mexican Coke, or Canadian Coke*. These are all made with sugar. Then have a good old corn-laden American Coke. Yeah, now you understand. (The difference is tenfold if you try them both at room temperature.)
*Although Canadian Coke does say "sucrose and/or glucose-fructose" so the presence of HFCS in it is possible, but rare.

P.S. The existence of a Facebook group does not constitute news, New York Times. One guy made an anti-HFCS page and that somehow makes him your anti-HFCS expert? What happened? Couldn't understand what the actual scientists said to you?

P.P.S. The incredibly unfunny HFCS Commercial Spoof mentioned in the article isn't worth your time or mine.

Is Nitrogen Larger than Oxygen?

I was reading some gas saving myths/tips on the Consumerist when I came across this:

Fill your tires with Nitrogen. Nitrogen helps tires maintain the right pressure for a longer period of time as opposed to oxygen, this because nitrogen molecules are larger than oxygen molecules. So the next time you need to add air to your tires, add nitrogen.

Immediately I was skeptical. Oxygen is the 8th element on the periodic table, whereas nitrogen is the 7th; oxygen has a higher atomic mass than nitrogen. So can an O₂ molecule really be smaller than an N₂ molecule?

I had Google help me out and I found this paper. If you ask me, this guy is trying too hard to sound smart, like when people say "I" instead of "me." I mean come on, he didn't bother to subscript his 2s when writing O₂! ...Not to mention the paper is hosted on getnitrogen.org, which is the website for the Get Nitrogen Institute. (Institute?! Really??) Their whole idea is to get you to put nitrogen in your tires. I'm sure they're in some way financed by nitrogen people.

I found this on Answers.com (just as dubious as the nitrogen people):

Molecular size a bit tricky. As a quick comparison, we can use the covalent radius defined as 1/2 the distance between to identical covalently bonding nuclei. This is measured in picometers (1 pm= 1x 10^-12 m). Nitrogen's covalent radius is 75pm so the length of a nitrogen (N₂) molecule ought to be 4 X 75pm or 300 pm. A molecule of oxygen (O₂) ought to be just a shade smaller 4 X 73pm or 292pm. So an oxygen molecule is a little less than 3% smaller than a nitrogen molecule.

So, I did some more searching and came across this.

As you can see, covalent radii generally decrease across periods in the Periodic Table. And now all that high school chemistry is coming back to me.

Oh, yeah! Chemistry sucks!

So anyway, with some assumptions, I can agree that yes, N₂ molecules are smaller than O₂ molecules.

But let's back up! The whole point of this was what to fill your tires with! Who is filling their tires with oxygen?! If a tire caught fire in a wreck IT WOULD EXPLODE if it were filled with oxygen! They're filled with AIR, which is 78% nitrogen! I find it extremely hard to believe that using pure nitrogen to get that last 22% of non-nitrogen out of the air in the tires is going to be worth the time, effort, and money. Just check your tire pressure regularly, damnit.

Most of the other tips check out, but some of that original article is crap. For example, "Shopping around for cheaper gas DOES NOT burn more than you’ll end up saving." That depends on how far you need to drive to shop around, doesn't it? "Gas is NOT cheaper mid-week." Depends on the gas station, doesn't it? "Opening the windows instead of using the air conditioner has no measurable effect." No measureable effect?? Then what did the MythBusters measure?! (I'll save you the Google search: It is more fuel efficient to use air conditioning when the car is traveling approximately 50mph or more. Otherwise, windows are more fuel efficient.)

Industrial Music Makes You a Violent Extremist

I'm sure it's well known that I hate news organizations, particularly Fox News. Here is yet another reason why: Road to Radicalism: The Man Behind the 'South Park' Threats

Basically, some religious nutjob threatened (although it doesn't sound like a threat to me) the creators of South Park for depicting the "prophet" Muhammad... in a bear suit, which (SPOILER ALERT) turns out to actually be Santa.

However, the article repeatedly mentions certain interests of his:

"He was very into violent industrial music, borderline Satanic bands and stuff like that. He had dark undertones in his interests."

...there were "dark overtones in his interests" for years...

Okay were they overtones or undertones, Fox?

Chesser's interests -- hardcore industrial music, Goth and Satanic materials -- appear to have translated "pretty well to violent extremism," the classmate said.

Okay, last time I checked, Muslims hate Satan, too. This article manages to suggest that Muslims are Satanic. Furthermore, it doesn't bother to suggest any sort of reason why he became radical other than suggesting that violent industrial music and Satan are somehow linked to it. How about investigating how exactly it is he became brainwashed by religious extremists? No?

And correct me if I'm wrong here, but he hasn't commited any violence yet. He's not a violent extremist, just an extremist.

I also noticed they spelled Muhammad different ways within the article.

Bonus tidbit:

She said she will maintain more of a distance from the Chessers now, "because we're Christians…. It's kind of sad that American people are falling into this. It's sad that he would be influenced to try to hurt people."

Right, because Christians would never do things like this.

Columbine: You Mean Pop Culture Didn't Drive Them To Kill? I'm Shocked!

Source: USA Today; Wikipedia

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the two murderers who shot up their suburban high school classmates and teachers eleven years ago tomorrow were batshit insane. Yes, I know this may come as a shock to you. You thought they were just innocent, normal kids, driven to murder by their music and video games. That's what our wonderful 24-hour news networks have pounded into your head, and sadly the myth continues to this day.

So of course I will sell the record straight. In, appropriately enough, bullet form.

The Columbine murderers...

• were not in the "Trenchcoat Mafia."
• In fact, and this may also come as a shock, there is no Trenchcoat Mafia.
• didn't target jocks/Christians/blacks.
• weren't on antidepressants.
• failed at building their 100 bombs. (Maybe they should've paid more attention in Chemistry.)
• wanted to kill everyone, including friends.
• did more harassing than they received -- they were not bullied until they couldn't take it anymore.
• has serious psychological problems.
• wore t-shirts saying "Wrath" and "Natural Selection" the day of the murders.
• had been arrested in 1998 and were on probation for stealing electronics.
• were a clinical psychopath with an extreme need for control as well as a superiority complex (Harris) and a despressive (Klebold). (The original odd couple, only with sawed-off shotguns.)
• kept diaries, in which one drew swastikas, and the other drew hearts. (Can you guess which one did what?)
• illegally acquired their guns.

But none of that was reported. You were told...

• they were innocent kids bullied into retaliation.
• were driven to kill by Doom and Wolfenstein 3D, two of the best-selling first person shooters of the 1990s.
• were desensitized by their video games.
• were victims of being isolated by various cliques in high school.
• were goths.
• were driven to kill by bands like Metallica, Rammstein, Marilyn Manson, and KMFDM (all of whom have gold or platinum-selling albums).
• were just... like... your... kids!!!

And of course every school in the country enforced reactionary security rules to prevent their little snowflakes from getting slaughtered, to the extent of see-through backpacks (which of course will hide the guns students have on their person very well) and metal detectors. My high school forced everyone to wear ID cards, telling us it was for security. I asked a security guard, "How does this make us safer? Will stop a bullet?" (It won't.) No, it guarantees that the people who shoot you at your school will be students of that school, just like at Columbine. But of course ID cards and metal detectors don't stop crazy.

So now you know, the Columbine shooters were batshit insane and the media is too lazy and stupid to care about reporting actual facts. (And frankly if you didn't know that going in to this post, then we're all doomed.)

Fox News v. Health Care Reform, Sanity, Journalism

Here's a fair and balanced Fox News story from an affiliate in Tampa, FL: AAPS Joins In Fight To Overturn Health Care Reform

 

Even the headline is trolling.

From the article:

The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS) became the first medical society to sue to overturn the newly enacted health care bill, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA).

 

 The article presents the group's opinions as facts. For example:

The PPACA also violates the Tenth Amendment, the Commerce Clause, and the provisions authorizing taxation, the AAPS says. The Taxing and Spending power cannot be invoked, as the premiums go to private insurance companies. The traditional sovereignty of the States over the practice of medicine is destroyed by the PPACA.

So who is the AAPS? Why, it's a 4,000-member conservative nonprofit organization that basically wants the government to stay out of health care. Ron Paul is a member! Almost half a percent of doctors are members! And according to the journal they publish:

• Abortion causes preterm birth later in life, and thus birth defects such as cerebral palsy to future children born to women with a history of abortion. [I bet they supported government intervention of people getting abortions (which would be contrary to their mission). Furthermore, I wonder how they felt about stem cell research.] 
• The Food and Drug Administration and Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services are unconstitutional.
• "Humanists" have conspired to replace the "creation religion of Jehovah" with evolution.
• Increased carbon dioxide in the atmosphere has not caused global warming.
• HIV does not cause AIDS.
• The "gay male lifestyle" shortens life expectancy by 20 years.
• Vaccinations are harmful.
• In the past 3 years [2002-2005] America has more than 7,000 cases of leprosy because of illegal aliens. [There have been 7,000 cases of leprosy in America over the last THIRTY years.]

Here's a list I found on RationalWiki (the opposite of Conservapedia) about their various contradictory actions:

 

Many of these activities appear to violate their "Patient's Bill of Rights", which, among other things, states:

 

(the right) to refuse third-party interference in their medical care, and to be confident that their actions in seeking or declining medical care will not result in third-party-imposed penalties for patients or physicians

• AAPS files lawsuit against FDA to overturn approval of "Plan B" morning after pill for over the counter use by women over 18.
• Fight against "Sham Peer Review": The AAPS recognizes "sham peer review" as an abusive use of such entities as hospital by-laws and disciplinary committees to exclude physicians for other-than legitimate or the explicitly-stated reasons.
• Defense of a physician convicted of improper narcotic prescribing while operating a clinic to treat patients with chronic pain.
• Fighting mandatory vaccination.
• Fighting against mandated mental health parity, which is advocated by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
• Promoting contracting between physicians and patients without government or insurance company involvement.
• Fighting socialized and single-payer healthcare.
• Fighting to debunk "Shaken baby syndrome", and to link it to vaccines rather than abuse.
• Advocating for so-called "freedom of conscience" to allow pharmacists to refuse to fill lawful prescriptions. This would appear to interfere with a patient's right "to refuse third party interference in their health care".
• Fighting abortion, not simply through moral objection, but also by attempting to link abortion to unrelated health problems, including breast cancer.
• Advocating against the sale of organs for transplant.
• Advocating against organ donation in cases where brain death is unclear.
• Advocating against withdrawal of care, as in the Terri Schiavo case, including misrepresenting the results of autopsy in the case.
• Their 1601 N. Tucson Blvd. Suite 9, Tucson, Arizona address is shared with that of Doctors for Disaster Preparedness.

 

Their website also has a picture of a guy in a straightjacket. Looks pretty credible to me.

 

Oh, and one last thing. Here's a short list of organizations (mostly medical) that do support health care reform that aren't mentioned in the fair and balanced article: 

AARP, AFSCME, AIDS Action Council, AIDS Project Los Angeles, ASPIRA Association, Academic Medical Centers, Alliance for Children and Families, Alliance for Retired Americans, Alzheimer's Foundation of America, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, American Academy of Family Physicians, American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Physician Assistants, American Art Therapy Association, American Association for Cancer Research, American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry, American Association of Colleges of Pharmacy, American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging, American Association of Nurse Anesthetists, American Association of Pastoral Counselors, American Association of People with Disabilities, American Association on Health and Disability, American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities, American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network (ACS CAN), American College of Nurse Midwives, American College of Physicians, American College of Seniors, American Council of the Blind, American Counseling Association, American Dance Therapy Association, American Diabetes Association, American Federation of Government Employees, American Federation of Labor & Congress of Industrial Organization, American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees (AFSCME), American Federation of Teachers, American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention/ SPAIN USA, American Foundation for the Blind, American Friends Service Committee, American Group Psychiatric Association, American Group Psychotherapy Association, American Heart Association, American Hospital Association, American Hospice Foundation, American Library Association, American Medical Rehabilitation Providers Association, American Mental Health Counselors Association, American Music Therapy Association, American Network of Community Options and Resources, American Nurses Association, American Occupational Therapy Association, American Public Health Association, American Psychiatric Association, American Psychiatric Nurses Association, American Psychological Association, American Public Health Association, American Social Health Association, American Society of Clinical Psychopharmacology, Americans for Democratic Action, Andakusia Regional Hospital, Anxiety Disorders Association of America, Arthritis Foundation, Asian & Pacific Islander American Health Forum, Asian American Justice Center, Association for Ambulatory Behavioral Healthcare, Association for Clinical Pastoral Education, Association for the Advancement of Psychology, Association of American Medical Colleges, Association if Assistive Technology Act Programs, Association of Asian Pacific Community Health Organizations, Association of Assistive Technology Act Programs, Association of Community Affiliated Plans, Association of Hispanic Healthcare Executives, Association of Jesuit Colleges and Universities, Association of University Centers on Disabilities, Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America, Autism National Committee, Autism Society of America, Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law, Black Women's Health Imperative, B'nai B'rith International, Brain Injury Association of America, Breast Cancer Network of Strength, Bourbon Community Hospital, Building and Construction Trade Department, Burton Blatt Institute, California Public Employees Retirement System (CalPERS), Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids, Castleview Hospital, Catholic Health Association, Center for Adolescent Health & the Law, Center for Community Change, Center for Clinical Social work, Center for Integrated Behavioral Health Policy, Center for Medicare Advocacy, Inc., Center for Rural Affairs, Center for the Study of the American Electorate, CenterLink: The Community of LGBT Centers, Change That Works, Child Welfare League of America, Children and Adults with ADHD, Children's Defense Fund, Clergy Strategic Alliances, LLC, Clinch Valley Medical Center, Clinical Social Work Association, Coalition on Human Needs, Colon Cancer Alliance, Committee for Education Funding, Common Cause, CommonHealth ACTION, Communities Advocating Emergency AIDS Relief Coalition, Community Access National Network, Community Action Partnership, Community Catalyst, Community Health Councils, Community Health Partnership: Oregon's Public Health Institute, Community Transportation Association of America, Consortium for Citizens with Disabilities, Consumer Action, Consumer Federation of America, Consumers' CHECKBOOK/Center for the Study of Services, Consumers Union, Corporation for Supportive Housing, Council for Exceptional Children, Crocket Hospital, Danville Regional Medical Center, Defeat Diabetes Foundation, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund, Disciples Justice Action Network, Division for Early Childhood of the Council for Exceptional Children, Doctors for America, Dolores Huerta Foundation, Easter Seals, Eastern Diocese of the Armenian Church, Eating Disorders Coalition, Epilepsy Foundation, Evangelicals for Social Action, Every Child Matters Education Fund, Faithful America, Faithful Reform in Health Care, Families USA, Family Equality Council, Family Violence Prevention Fund, Family Voices, Farmers Union, Federation of American Hospitals, Fight Crime: Invest in Kids, First Focus Campaign for Children, Forrest City Medical Center, Friends Committee on National Legislation, Friends Fiduciary Corporation, Generations United, Harris Center for Disability and Health Policy, Health Care For All, Health Care for America Now, Healthcare Access Project, HealthHIV, Helen Keller National Center, Hillside Hospital, Hispanic Association of Colleges and Universities, Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, Hispanic Dental Association, Hispanic National Bar Association, Hispanic Federation, HIV Health Care Access Working Group, HIV Medicine Association, IDEA Infant Toddler Coordinators Association, International Association of Bridge, Structural, Ornamental & Reinforcing Iron, Workers, International Brotherhood of Boilermakers, IronShip Builders, Blacksmiths, Forgers,, and, Helpers, International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, International Brotherhood of Teamsters, International Union of Bricklayers & Allied Craftsworkers, International Union of Painters and Allied Trades, International Union, United Automobile, Aerospace and Agricultural Implement Workers, of, America (UAW), Japanese American Citizens League, Jewish Reconstructionist Federation, LA County Federation of Labor, Labor Council for Latin America Advancement, Latin American & Caribbean Office of Planned Parenthood, Latinos For National Health Insurance, Latinos United For Health Care, Leadership Council of Aging Organizations, League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC), League of Women Voters of the United States, Legal Momentum, Learning Disabilities Association of America, LIVESTRONG, Lutheran Health Network, Malecare Prostate Cancer Support, MANA - A National Latina Organization, Medicare Rights Center, Memorial Medical Center, Mental Health America, Mental Health Liaison, Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, Mimbres Memorial Hospital, MomsRising, NAACP, NAADAC, the Association for Addiction Professionals, National Academies of Practice, National Alliance for Caregiving, National Alliance of State and Territorial AIDS Directors, National Alliance on Mental Illness, National Association for Children's Behavioral Health+A86, National Association for Rural Mental Health, National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, National Association of Childrens Hospitals, National Association of Community Health Centers, National Association of County Behavioral Health and Developmental Disability, Directors, National Association of Hispanic Nurses, National Association of Human Rights Workers, National Association of Jewish Chaplains, National Association of Mental Health Planning and Advisory Councils, National Association of Neighborhoods, National Association of Psychiatric Heath Systems, National Association of Public Hospitals and Health Systems, National Association of Social Workers, National Association of State Directors of Special Education, National Association of State Head Injury Administrators, National Association of State Mental Health Program Directors, National Black Leadership Initiative on Cancer III, Community Networks Program, National Breast Cancer Coalition, National Center for Learning Disabilities, National Center on Caregiving, Family Caregiver Alliance, National Cervical Cancer Coalition, National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship, National Coalition for LGBT Health, National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, National Coalition of Mental Health Consumer/Survivor Organizations, National Coalition on Deaf-Blindness, National Coalition on Health Care Action Fund, National Committee to Preserve Social Security and Medicare, National Congress of American Indians, National Congress of Black Women, Inc., National Consumer Voice for Quality Long Term Care, National Consumers League, National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare, National Council of Asian & Pacific Islander Physicians, National Council of Churches, USA Health Task Force, National Council of La Raza, National Council of Negro Women, Inc., National Council of Urban Indian Health, National Council on Aging, National Council on Independent Living, National Disability Rights Network, National Down Syndrome Congress, National Education Association, National Family Caregivers Association, National Farmers Union, National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health, National Forum for Latino Healthcare Executives, National Foundation for Mental Health, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, National Health Council, National Health Equity Coalition, National Health Law Program, National Hispanic Caucus of State Legislators, National Hispanic Council on Aging, National Hispanic Environmental Council, National Hispanic Leadership Agenda, National Hispanic Medical Association, National Indian Health Board, National Legal Aid and Defender Association, National Lung Cancer Partnership, National Medical Association, National Multiple Sclerosis Society, National Native American AIDS Prevention Center, National Partnership for Women & Families, National Patient Advocate Foundation, National Physicians Alliance, National Policy and Advocacy Council on Homelessness, National Public Sector HealthCare Roundtable, National Puerto Rico Coalition, National REACH Coalition, National Research Center for Women & Families, National Resource Center for Hispanic Mental Health, National Respite Coalition, National Rural Health Association, National Senior Citizens Law Center, National Senior Corps Association, National Spinal Cord Association, National Spinal Cord Injury Association, National Urban League, National Women's Law Center, NCCNHR: The National Consumer Voice for Quality Long-Term Care, NETWORK, A National Catholic Social Justice Lobby, Nurse-Family Partnership National Service Office, OCA, Opinion Leaders Advocacy Network, Our Bodies Ourselves, Out of Many, One, OWL - The Voice of Midlife and Older Women, Paralyzed Veterans of America, Partnership for Prevention, PHI - Health Care for Health Care Workers, Physicians for Reproductive Choice and Health, Prescription Policy Choices, Progressive States Network, Project Inform, Racial and Ethnic Health Disparities Coalition, RESULTS, Ryan White Medical Providers Coalition, Sargent Shriver National Center on Poverty Law, School Social Work Association of America, Self-Governance Communication and Education Tribal Consortium, Seniors to Seniors, SER - Jobs For Progress, Service Employees International Union, Sisters of Mercy of the Americas Institute Justice Team, Small Business Majority, Society for Adolescent Medicine, Southern TN Medical Center, South Texas Health Reform, Southwest Voter Registration and Education Project, SparkLight Communications, State Legislators for Health Care Reform, Summit Health Institute for Research and Education, Inc., The Access Project, The AIDS Institute, The Arc of the United States, The Center for Health Care Policy Research and Analysis, The Children's Partnership, The Healing of the Nations Foundation, The Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights (LCCR), The LGBT Cancer Project - Out With Cancer, The Main Street Alliance, The Shomer Shalom Network for Jewish Nonviolence, Therapeutic Communities of America, Tourette Syndrome Association, Trust For Americas Health, US Hispanic Leadership Institute, U.S. PIRG (Public Interest Research Group), U.S. Positive Women's Network, US Psychiatric Rehabilitation Association, Union for Reform Judaism, Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations, United Association of Journeymen & Apprentices of the Plumbing & Pipe Fitting, Industry, of the US and Canada, United Cerebral Palsy, United Food and Commercial Workers International Union, United Methodist Church - General Board of Church and Society, United Neighborhood Centers of America, United Spinal Association, United Steel Workers, Universal Health Care Action Network (UHCAN), Urban Coalition for HIV AIDS Prevention Services, Us TOO International Prostate Cancer Education & Support Network, USAction, VetsFirst, Voices for America's Children, Volunteers of America, Washington Health Foundation, Wider Opportunities for Women, WISC Health Care Working Group, Witness Justice, Women of Reform Judaism, Women Together for Change

Forget The Oceans Boiling! We Will All Freeze To Death!!

Using science, I have determined that we will not live to see the oceans boil off on February 6, 2010 because ALL MOLECULAR MOTION WILL STOP SOMETIME IN THE MORNING OF JANUARY 25, 2010!!!!

As you can see from my scientific graph, using current temperature trends of a local area over a short amount of time, it is clear that the planet is rapidly cooling off! By late January, we will reach absolute zero, and continue to plummet below it, thus stopping all molecular motion worldwide! Since I and all the news outlets have determined that this is a scientifically sound method, my conclusions are quite valid!

Okay, okay you get the idea!


Please, you people, don't let the random "scientific" article of the day distract you from the fact that global climate change is real and we must do something about it, despite what Fox News says. And let's not forget that the media is trying to hard to not be labeled "liberal" that they will post an opposing viewpoint, no matter how scientifically unsound it is.

WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE GLACIERS?!?!

THE OCEANS WILL BOIL OFF IN THREE WEEKS!

If there's anything reading the news has taught me, it's that you can create a news story regarding global warming without consulting experts to prove any point you like! Further you can use local data sets collected over a short amount of time to make your point and as long as you throw in the word scientists and leave out the phrase peer-reviewed journal.

So, after extensive research, scientists such as myself have come to the startling revelation that THE OCEANS WILL BEGIN TO BOIL OFF ON FEBRUARY 6, 2010!

Just look at this scientific graph:

I collected my data from NOAA's 3-day forecast. I noticed an alarming warming trend! Since this will continue, the oceans will begin to boil on Saturday, February 6, 2010!

EVERYBODY PANIC!

Snow? And It's Still Global Warming?

If you pretend this article is satire, it's amusing. Sadly, it doesn't appear to be so.

SNOW CHAOS: AND THEY STILL CLAIM IT'S GLOBAL WARMING

This article has no data to back up its claims and frightening-sounding numbers that aren't compared to any averages. This is the epitome of poor journalism, poor science, and poor thinking.

How can I put this more simply?

Weather ≠ Climate

7 Eco-Myths "Debunked" Article is Bunk Itself

7 Eco-Myth Debunked

This article made my brain hurt. Let's just go through each of the "myths" they "debunked" shall we?

1. Local food is not always better.

The buy local movement is a strong current in the river of environmentalism, and for a good reason: It does make good sense to keep your money and shopping close to home ... but not always. Local food isn't always better. There are many things you have to consider when assessing the environmental impact of a food item. Besides just how far it traveled from field to market, consider how the food was harvested, processed, stored and transported.

YES! TRANSPORTED! THAT'S THE POINT OF THE "BUY LOCAL" THING! If your food traveled 3000 miles or more, I'd be amazed if it was better than getting something from 100 miles away (unless it traveled by rail). It also helps your local economy! Notice the author implicitly acknowledges that local food is usually better: "but not always." You could pretty much apply that to everything! And guess what? That's pretty much how the whole list goes.

2. Big farms aren't evil.

Freelance journalist Tracie McMillan found that some workers prefer the benefits and consistency of a larger operation. Big farms are also more likely to be visited by government inspectors, and there is something to be said for the efficiency gained from a large-scale operation. We certainly need to support small farms, but we shouldn't dismiss all big farms as evil.

Same tactic here: big farms aren't always evil. He doesn't discuss the horror to the planet that monoculture farming is. Instead they use some vague labor argument, that starts with "some workers." And just because the government is inspecting a farm doesn't make it safe. The FDA and USDA don't really have any power thanks to the way the laws have been written. So there's no "eco-myth" debunked here.

3. CFLs are bad.

This one ends up saying CFLs are good! After going off about the amount of mercury in them, it says:

But consider this: the source of most of America's electricity, burning coal, releases lots of mercury into the atmosphere. The mercury generated from the extra electricity needed over the lifetime of an incandescent bulb is far more than the amount found in your average CFL bulb.

Nothing debunked.

4. Invasive Species are Good

Anytime an exotic animal is brought into a new environment, it frequently ends badly, but there are some places where that's not the case.

Same argument. "...there are some places...." You can find exceptions to everything somewhere. That doesn't mean you debunked anything.

5. The Rainforest Is Manmade

Rogue archaeologists Clark Erickson and William Balée believe the North and South American continents were populated by large and advanced civilizations that pulled off enormous feats of geoengineering, and the rain forest is a result of hundreds of years of fruit and nut tree cultivation by farmers. If we planted it once, that would mean we could plant it again.

NOT IF WE'RE TURNING IT INTO FARMS TO GROW CATTLE TO MAKE BURGERS FOR AMERICA! Besides, it's not just that there the rainforests are disappearing, it's what's IN the rainforests disappearing that is the problem. "Rogue archaeologist" seems to indicate to me that their hypothoses are generall discredited by peers.

6. Trees are bad.

The more trees, the better, right? Not always.

Same tactic. Not a good argument again.

7. Hybrid cars are bad.

There's no dispute that hybrid cars use gas more efficiently, but is a hybrid the best choice for everyone (and the planet) every time?

Again the argument is against absolutes. Seems like a hack-ish way to write an article to me.

This whole article is the kind of thing some crazy person would read and think something has been disproven when in fact it's all just common sense.

The most condescending thing about the whole article comes from #1: "Do your homework." That goes double for you, author.

The Balloon Idiots

I'm apparently not as easily distracted by shiny things as the rest of America appears to be. I didn't hear about this balloon thing until it was all over. And not it appears it was a hoax to futher the father's career. Read this from Wikipedia:

The family had been featured twice on the reality television show Wife Swap, the second time as a fan-favorite choice for the show's 100th episode. During his time on the show, Heene claimed to believe humanity descended from aliens, and spoke of launching home-made flying saucers into storms. Heene has made relentless unsuccessful attempts to get media attention for a proposed reality show called "The Science Detectives", which he envisioned as a documentary series "to investigate the mysteries of science". Months before the balloon incident on October 15, 2009, Heene pitched a reality show idea to the television channel TLC, but they passed on the offer.

So he's a constant failure and he decided since he has such a good track record, why not lie to the news?

According to this article, the parents are 'upset' after being given felony criminal charges. You should be upset, ass!

If all the media attention they have now isn't enough (remember, they pretty much just wanted to be famous), then I say follow them around in prison with cameras and air it. And all the money they get from the show? Yeah, they don't get it. Give it to the prison system or something. Or give it to the people whose flights were canceled in Denver because of these jerks.

Wait a minute, I bet you're going "but they're innocent until proven guilty!" Well, how about this:

...[Robert] Thomas [who had worked with Heene for two months last spring] told CNN that at one point they were talking about the Roswell UFO incident of the late 1940s, when Heene said it would be easy to cook up "a media stunt that would be equally profound as Roswell, and we could do so with nothing more than a weather balloon and some controversy."

Also, I found this rather unsurprising:

Heene has been described as a meteorologist, but his education ended at the high school level.

Also, that stupid balloon of his? From this article,

The father built the 20ft by 5ft silver helium balloon in his yard and it was designed as a transport vehicle of the future so "people can pull out of their garage and hover 50ft to 100ft above traffic."

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! A balloon is not a vehicle of the future SINCE THEY PREDATE AIRPLANES!

Oh, yeah, and to make matters worse, this moron is one of those David Icke nutjobs. HE THINKS HILLARY CLINTON IS A ONE OF OUR SHAPESHIFTING REPTILIAN OVERLORDS! AHGHAGHGHGH.

Lock him up for eternity I say!

10 Healthiest "Fast Food" Places Article: Why news is stupid

10 Healthiest Fast Food Restaurants - from WBBM in Chicago

They are:

1. Pantera Bread


2. Jason's Deli


3. Au Bon Pain


4. Noodles and Company


5. Corner Bakery Café


6. Chipotle


7. Atlanta Bread


8. McDonald's


9. Einstein Bros.


10. Taco Del Mar

This article is all kinds of stupid. So, here we go:

First of all, Pan(t)era Bread, Jason's Deli, Au Bon Pain, Noodles and Company, Corner Bakery, Atlanta Bread, and possibly Einstein Bros, are all NOT fast food. They are what the soulless corporate restauranteurs call quick casual. When I worked at Pei Wei, they made a big deal to the cashiers that we identify the restaurant as quick casual and not fast food or even a casual restaurant. Fast food places are like McDonald's and Popeyes. You order at a counter, the food is not necessarily made-to-order, and there is no table service. And it's cheap. Casual dining is like TGI Friday's or Applebees (ugh). At casual restaurants, you sit down, there is a waiter (unless it's Chutzpah, then they just say there's a waiter), and you don't have to dress in a tuxedo and wipe your mouth with $100 bills. As the name implies, quick casual is the ground between fast food and casual. Some have some kind of table service. At Pei Wei, for instance, you order at a counter, then have a seat and your food comes to you. So it is with most of the places on their "fast food" list.

So, now we have the list down to 3 places, McDonald's, Taco Del Mar, and Chipotle.

I guess I have nothing to really complain about Chipotle and Taco Del Mar, the latter of which I have never been to. Yeah, they do healthy-ish stuff I guess. Good work. Who cares?

Now finally we're at the elephant in the room: McDonald's. The article says:

Among the big burger-based chains, McDonald's is leading the way in overhauling its menu to offer more heart and waist-friendly fare. Take the Happy Meals, which you can order with a side of apple dippers (with low-fat caramel) instead of fries and low-fat milk or fruit juice instead of soda. And if you have to have fries, McDonald's are made in a healthy canola-blend oil and come in at just 230 calories for a small. The Grilled Chicken Classic sandwich and wraps are healthy choices, too (just skip the mayo or sauce). And our whole panel commends McDonald's for spelling out the nutritional information right on the back of its tray liners.

:deep breath:

I'm sure ANY fast food restaurant is fine IF YOU GET A KIDS MEAL. Especially if you eat FRUIT instead of FRIES. But it's okay because the fries cooked in healthy-ish oil. (Note the phrase canola-blend in the article.) Oh yeah and as long as you make adjustments you can eat the gilled chicken, too... JUST LIKE ANYWHERE ELSE. Oh and if all you have is a SNACK-SIZED ITEM it's healthy, too!

Oh and kudos for printing your nutritional info on the tray liners (not to mention on the bottom of the sandwich boxes and back of the fry containers). You know, by the time you see the nutritional info, IT'S TOO LATE! You've already ordered!

So, why did they put McDonald's on the list? To get people to go "holy fuck, read this article! It says McDonald's is healthy." And then you read the article. This is a common tactic with top ten-style "news" "articles." They will always put one more or less outrageous one in there to generate a buzz and get people to refer others to the article and talk about it.

Shit, it worked.

Well anyway, someone let me know when they find the other 7 healthy places. I have a few suggestions: Wendy's (if you get a kid's meal and don't finish it), Burger King (if you have them hold the mayo, cheese, and burger, and you don't finish your fries), KFC (you can't gain any calories if you've thrown it up, can you?), Quiznos (because subs are always healthy, right?)....