As you can see from my scientific graph, using current temperature trends of a local area over a short amount of time, it is clear that the planet is rapidly cooling off! By late January, we will reach absolute zero, and continue to plummet below it, thus stopping all molecular motion worldwide! Since I and all the news outlets have determined that this is a scientifically sound method, my conclusions are quite valid!
Okay, okay you get the idea!
Please, you people, don't let the random "scientific" article of the day distract you from the fact that global climate change is real and we must do something about it, despite what Fox News says. And let's not forget that the media is trying to hard to not be labeled "liberal" that they will post an opposing viewpoint, no matter how scientifically unsound it is.
WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE GLACIERS?!?!
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