RC Cola Theory

Theory: RC Cola has exactly one truck that just constantly goes around the country fulfilling the orders of the half-dozen RC vendors nationwide.

Epic Meal Time is Incredibly Stupid

I hate Epic Meal Time. In their YouTube videos, a bunch of douchebags get together and make ridiculously unhealthy food. The premise itself is pretty solid: hilariously unhealthy food. I mean, If someone told me they were going to make an 84 egg sandwich, I would definitely be intrigued...

Until I saw these morons bro down on eachother. The lead bro guy yells at the camera like he's about to rape you. I'm fairly sure these guys all play lacrosse. I bet they use the word 'mancation'. They probably all have raised Jeeps or Mitsubishis or something else equally douchbaggy. The magic of the word 'epic' is wasted on them, not to mention how much the awesome power of bacon is ruined by them.



If I wanted to watch a douchebag cook, Bobby Flay has like 10 shows on the Food Network.

Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time is the exact opposite of Epic Meal Time. Clearly they did it to mock EMT, but then it took a on life of its own. Just have a look:

The Swedish Navy

The Swedish Navy is awesome. I don't know what it is they do exactly, but check this ship out:

No, that's not a killboat from the future, but it might as well be. That's HMS Helsingborg, a Visby-class corvette. Clearly it's designed to be hard to see on a radar (what with all the angularness), but the hull is made of PVC with carbon fiber and and vinyl laminate. So, there's pretty much no magnetic or infrared signatures, either.

Before you know it, the Swedes will have invaded and filled your home with affordable furniture!

Suitcase Guitar!

Northwest Angle

The Northwest Angle is the small chunk of Minnesota that is north of the 49th parallel. It's the only part of the continental 48 north of the 49th that isn't an island.

At the end of the Revolutionary War, the Treaty of Paris states the the boundary between the US and future Canada would run "...through the Lake of the Woods to the northwestern most point thereof, and from thence on a due west course to the river Mississippi...." However, the Mississippi starts south of the northwestern most point of the Lake of the Woods, so you can't draw a line west to it.

In 1818, another treaty was signed stating the northern boundary of the US would be the 49th parallel, so a line was drawn from the northwest point down to the 49th.

To get to this thriving metropolis (pop: 152 in 2000), you can fly or take a boat. But if you insist on driving, be sure you use a telephone at Jim's Corner, Youngs Bay Marina or Carlsons Landing to contact Customs and make your declarations, since the border crossing is unmanned.

Fake Yo-Yo Guy Screws with Local News

Kenny Strasser has been added to my list of personal heroes. He scored a handful of interviews on local news programs pretending to be a yo-yo champion. Observe:



So, what does one of these stations do after the interview invariably goes to hell? They make a news segment based on research that none of the stations did before booking the interview!



Way to fail.

ChristWire.org is Genius!

Go to http://christwire.org/ right now.

At first I couldn't tell it was satire, which means they did a great job. They have articles such as:

• How to Spot a Masturbator
• Prayers Save Several Families From Deadly Tornado
• More Proof Barack Obama Social Security Number is Fake

I'm almost sure you could find seriously written articles on actual right-wing websites.

Seriously, you could pull this part of their mission statement from anyone's site who watches Fox News:

Together, in this community, you and your Moral Leaders will combat the evil liberals of this world and once again ensure that a bit of freedom and righteousness once again permeates every country, and let those who don’t abide by our teachings know the eternal pit of hellfire shall be awaiting!

Chatroulette

So I was going to make a series of chatroulette posts like I did with Omegle, but I logged on and the VERY FIRST person I was connected to was a dude jacking it. Too bad I vomited off-camera.

I did learn pretty quickly that if people know you're a guy they will hit Next pretty much immediately!


I did have one good conversation though (click to embiggen):

Glacier of Blood

Blood Falls is located in at the edge of the McMurdo Dry Valleys in Antarctica. The Dry Valleys are one of the few places in Antarctica that have no ice or snow on them. But that's a topic for another post. Blood Falls (or Glacier of Blood as I like to call it) is located at the tongue of the Taylor Glacier.
It is fucking awesome! Originally it was though to be caused by a wound in the glacier red algae. That's a good guess for 1911. Really, the water is hypersaline, iron-rich, seawater from a subglacial pool. It is unknown how large this pool is, but the water was isolated from the Antarctic Ocean for 5 million years. The iron in the water oxidizes in the presence of oxygen, giving it its evil blood color. Though there's almost no oxygen in the trapped seawater, there are still bacteria living in it.

Picture from Discover Magazine Article:

Hi-res image from the United States Antarctic Program (click to embiggen):

Snow Rollers

Snow rollers are the opposite of fire tornadoes, but they're just as awesome!

Snow rollers are essentially snow tumbleweeds. They start as chunks of snow blown along the ground. They pick up more and more snow and they're blown until they are too heavy for the wind to push it anymore. They tend to be cylindrical because the core is often weaker and thinner than the outer layers, so any snow inside ends up blowing away.

Triton

Triton is possibly the most awesome moon evar!

It's the largest of Neptune's 13 moons. Only it doesn't fuck around. It has a retrograde orbit!

"Retrograde orbit" means the moon moves in the opposite direction of the planet's rotation.

There are extreme seasonal changes every Neptunian year because its two poles take turns pointing directly at the sun.

Oh, did I mention its orbit is degrading? That means it will fucking crash into Neptune!! Or break apart and become rings around the planet.

Yeah, so that's about it...

...EXCEPT FOR THE CRYOVOLCANOES!!!! Cryovolcanoes are basically volcanoes that spew ice. There is a translucent layer of frozen nitrogen, which creates a "solid greenhouse" effect, which warms layers below. The liquids below the frozen nitrogen erupt and freeze when they exit the cryovolcano!


Awesome!

Mr. Boh

I'm fairly sure that Mr. Boh...



...lost his other eye in a bar fight with Julius Pringles...



...over the Utz Girl...


...but I think Mr. Boh won because....

The Rubix Cubewich

Whether this tastes horrid or not, it's genius!

from insanewiches.com

The Most Awesome Thing Ever

FIRE TORNADOES!

FIRE TORNADOES!