The Evils of the Major Food Companies and Their Economic and Political Power
The film ends with tips on how to break the cycle and avoid being a part of the system that is slowly killing us all economically, environmentally, and medically.
It's official. The DC Metro system has become self-aware and is trying to kill us all.
From the article:
He says all signs are showing that the operator did everything she could to prevent the crash. Investigators have found the emergency braking system had been in use 300 to 400 feet before the crash.
...
NTSB Spokesman Debbie Hersman says five of six circuits, or stretches of track, showed no problems during tests Wednesday. But she says there were "anomalies" with the sixth circuit. Hersman would not elaborate on what those might be, saying more tests are needed.
The electronic sensors in question may have sent signals to the striking train to go at speed -- 59 mph.
The Washington Post reports an internal Metro report shows the system was not working properly. The computer system, the paper reports, was telling the striking train that there was no train ahead of it. The computers might have sent the train to crash into the one ahead of it.
FML (fmylife.com) is a site where people post stories about how their life sucks.
Here's a typical hilarious entry:
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
Here's another good one:
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Each one starts with "Today," and ends with "FML," which stands for "Finally, McDonald's Lunch" because people post items while waiting for their food.
Anyway, every so often I'll see really stupid FMLs. Here are some examples:
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
Yeah, fuck your life! You harassed a homeless man and he got pissed off! You should be bleeding to death in an alley somewhere.
Today, I got pulled over by LAPD because they thought I was drinking and driving. While they were making me walk in a straight line, a bag of weed fell out of my pocket. FML
So you drive like a moron and smoke pot and got caught? Boo hoo!
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
Maybe you shouldn't pick your nose in public situations?
Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML
You're just a dick.
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
Your mom's a whore. (This one's not bad I just thought it was funny.)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
You're lazy and stupid.
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
HAHAHA. But seriously you should be tortured for my amusement.
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Smart kid.
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
It doesn't matter what it says after the first 7 words. Fuck you.
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
I don't know where to begin with this one.
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
There's a productions company Burning Shadows, RVG:TZM, and It's a Death Metal Xmas have been at war with since they first spammed RVG:TZM. Well they contacted me once again (It's a Death Metal Xmas, to be specific). But first, a little history....
NOVEMBER 2008:
A note I posted on Facebook
There's this company that offers battle of the band type shows to random bands on myspace. They tend to have them at Jaxx or Fletchers or whatever. Basically they promise all these prizes then make you bring as many people as you can to vote for your band. Your time slot is also related to how many tickets you sell usually. These shows just make all kinds of money for the promotions company. Anyway, trust me, it's evil.
Whenever they send a message to Burning Shadows, I always ask if there will be judges or if it's just based on how much money the band can make the company. They always respond with something like "no it's based on votes so sell lots of tickets!" So I tell them that it's stupid to base the winners on how many friends they have and not how good they are.
Whenever they send a message to Recently Vacated Graves: True Zombie Metal, I make all sorts of ridiculous demands. I demand top billing, no photography or video, sound check prior to all other bands, and cash in lieu of prizes. Plus whatever else I can think of. They tend not to respond to RVG.
Today I got one for Death Metal Xmas to play in January. My response was: "Christmas music in January? Are you fucking retarded?"
(Yes, they are.)
--------------------------
Update:
Their response was,
What are you talking about?? It is a battle of the bands. Our company works with over 90 venues across the United States on a daily basis. This isn't just for "Christmas music."
My response to that was,
IT'S A DEATH METAL XMAS = CHRISTMAS MUSIC
You obviously don't pay any attention to what you're doing when you invite bands to these shows. You don't care about what the band sounds like or anything like that. You're just blindly emailing everyone.
Case in point, you've had 2 chances now to realize you're talking to IT'S A DEATH METAL XMAS. You obviously didn't listen to any of the music. You obviously didn't even look at the page. You didn't even read our fucking name.
Let me guess, were we to for some reason play XMAS DEATH METAL in January at your show, we'd have to sell tickets and the winner is somehow based on ticket sales and/or votes by people who bought our tickets? Shows aren't booked based on genre or talent, it's based on who is going to sell tickets, right? You all can eat a bag of dicks.
Hey guys. My name is Rachael and I work @ Gorilla Music based out of Cleveland, Ohio. I am now booking for Jaxx Nightclub on Feb. 22nd in Springfield VA!!
[blah blah blah]
From It's a Death Metal Xmas (i.e. Me): Note: This is before I realized this is from the same idiot using a different account.
Are. You. Fucking. Retarded?
Christmas music in FEBRUARY?
From Gorilla Productions:
Look dude, you really don't have to be so damn mean. I am sorry that you get the messages I send.. Just don't respond or block me... one of the two. Please don't demoralize my well being. Fuckin Christ... I am just doing my job.
From It's a Death Metal Xmas (i.e. Me):
How about you think about what you're doing? You're spamming bands on myspace. These messages aren't solicited. You're violating the myspace terms of use:
MySpace Terms of Use Agreement (dated February 28, 2008)
8. Content/Activity Prohibited. The following are examples of the kind of Content that is illegal or prohibited to post on or through the MySpace Services. MySpace reserves the right to investigate and take appropriate legal action against anyone who, in MySpace's sole discretion, violates this provision, including without limitation, removing the offending Content from the MySpace Services and terminating the Membership of such violators. Prohibited Content includes, but is not limited to, Content that, in the sole discretion of MySpace:
8.9 involves the transmission of "junk mail," "chain letters," or unsolicited mass mailing, instant messaging, "spimming," or "spamming";
We both know you're not sitting there going to each band's site and writing a message. Otherwise, you wouldn't be sending a Christmas music band offers for shows AFTER Christmas TWICE from TWO different accounts.
Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if I see another message from you.
Merry Death Metal Xmas. (By the way the new CD comes out December 23d. If you like I can personally send you the ordering information so you can be sure to get yours.)
JUNE 2009:
From Gorilla Productions:
Hey,
My name is Rachael and I work at Gorilla Music, based out of Cleveland, Ohio. I am now booking for a Battle of the Bands July 26th @ Jaxx. If you think you might be interested, get back to me with a contact number and I will give you all the details regarding the show.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Rachael Galassi Gorillamusic.com 216.322.6056
My response:
Here we go again. Back in December I said "Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if I see another message from you."
FUCKING PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU MORON.
And you can suggest that I block you again, but you've messaged me from THREE different accounts now. What's wrong, is MySpace closing your accounts because you keep spamming people?
Anyway I'll play the show on the condition that we get top billing and you call the show "GORILLA MUSIC PRESENTS: IT'S A DEATH METAL XMAS IN JULY FOR SOME REASON!" We want 50% of the door, too. (For all bands, not just mine.)
The History Channel show UFO Hunters did an episode about AUTEC (Atlantic Undersea Testing and Evaluation Center). I tend to hate UFO shows in general, but this is fucking ridiculous.
AUTEC is on Andros Island in the Bahamas. That's the big yellow one in the Bahamas logo. Andros Island is a wasteland. It's largely undeveloped, and there are efforts to turn the majority of it into a national park. Its population is 6000. There isn't all that much tourism on Andros ... because it sucks.
AUTEC does a lot of deep water stuff, so it's conveniently located near the Tongue of the Ocean (TOTO). Deep water is good for acoustic measurements and such.
So having been there repeatedly, this awful UFO Hunters show made me want to laugh and cry. As a service to you, I have provided my commentary.
UFO Hunters Underwater Area 51 (Part 1 of 5)
- The existence of AUTEC is NOT "top secret." In the mess hall they have several civilian newspaper clippings of the opening of AUTEC, plus AUTEC has a website (link - which they acknowledge), a Wikipedia page (link), and it comes up on Google Maps (link). Plus when you fly into West Palm Beach, there's an AUTEC terminal and an AUTEC bus.
- They obviously just read the Wikipedia page.
- The water gets deeper than 6000 ft.
- The first former AUTEC employee sounds like he's reading a script. What kind of ship was he on? What kind of verification was done to make sure that the radar was working correctly? (A possibility which they then kind of entertain.)
- AUTEC isn't that restricted, guys.
- I don't trust the second AUTEC guy they talk to. How fast was it moving? Did anyone else see it?
- What kind of retards are they if they plan to walk up to the gate shouting "Where's the ET?"
- They're frightened of a Coast Guard helicopter?! Those things fly out like ever hour! He's slowing down because the helipad is right fucking there!
- They didn't actually talk to any security guards!
- Why don't they just ask someone what the underwater cables are?
- What would be the point of tethering a craft to the cables?
(I would guess the cables have something to do with the acoustic arrays.)
- Here's what's on the other side of the breakwater: a pier and a bait shop that sells beer as early as 9am.
- They fire missiles there? News to me.
- It's probably not wise to pick up an undersea cable under any circumstances.
- Why did he think the cable would be thicker? I mean really?
- Thousands and thousands of feet? That's not even a mile.
- The psychic spy they have is fucking retarded. I mean give me a break.
- It's not TOP SECRET if it says SECRET on it. Learn your levels of classifications (link).
- So the best evidence they have is a fucking psychic?
- The Frenchman is the only thing that can top the psychic. Like I can't believe this moron.
I was listening to XM in my rental car (more on that in another post). There are a couple comedy stations that will play a track from various comedy CDs. However, it's just full of hacks. (Then again, they are trying to fill 24 hours with 2 minute long CD tracks.)
I heard comics that obviously were trying to be Jeff Foxworthy, Jerry Seinfeld (this one even said "did you ever notice..." and "are you familiar with this?"), and Dane Cook. That wouldn't be so bad if they didn't also throw in Jeff Foxworthy, Jerry Seinfeld, and Dane Cook.
They also played the very beginning of one of Dane Cook's shows where he makes a joke about saying he'll call the audience after he leaves, but he won't call and he'll just be with a younger, sexier audience. But that joke isn't hilarious until the very end of the CD when he says "I'll call you guys later." So it doesn't work on XM.
They should be playing entire shows I think. That would make it much more bearable.
On a related note, I can't believe people pay for XM. It sucks just as much as free radio.
Some thoughts I had while flying home from the Bahamas (no, from the shitty island) today:
"What smells like regurgitated Chinese food?"
"Do you know that there are people around you and we can hear everything you're saying?"
"Do you really think that the exact middle of the hallway surrounded by your bags is a good place for a phone call?"
"Why are you staring at me?"
"Wouldn't the appropriate thing to do be asking the flight attendant instead of making an announcement like a terrorist would do?"
"When exactly did you think it was a good idea to get a connecting flight that leaves 10 minutes after your previous flight arrives?"
Also, I noticed that there are a significant number of unfortunate-looking people in West Palm Beach, FL. My candid picture of one such person did not come out, but it looked like someone had tried to give a facelift to an old bowling ball bag, but it didn't take, so they covered it in that fake tan stuff.
