Swashbuckle Sucks

Swashbuckle is a pirate-themed thrash band from New Jersey. They have been on several US tours with larger acts the past year or two. Oh, yeah, and they fucking suck.

They dress like pirates, they usually bring inflatable palm trees, and all their stage banter is pirate-like. For some dumb fucking reason they had a guy come out in a shark suit and ran around like a moron during their last song. And here's the worst part: the crowd loves them.

I've been trying to figure out why I hate them so much since on paper it doesn't look too bad. I love the other two pirate bands (Alestorm and Running Wild), and they talk all piratey. Running Wild dressed like pirates. I finally put my finger on it: Swashbuckle's music has nothing to do with pirates.

That's right. It's all just a gimmick. Sure, they sing about pirates, but the music is just poorly written thrash. Alestorm uses the keytar to sound all pirate-like. Running Wild writes sea-chantey-like songs. Swashbuckle just fucking blows:



Yeah! Exactly! Terrible! Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they dropped the whole pirate thing. Just to get the awful taste out of your mouth, here's some Alestorm:



I thought originally that they were just cashing in on the pirate fad that Alestorm started. However, it turns out that Swashbuckle was formed before Alestorm.

It's all moot anyway since Running Wild was started in 1976 and has been singing about pirates since the mid 80s.



So anyway Swashbuckle needs to stop. Immediately.