The O's Are Depressing

I really need to turn off Orioles score notifications on my phone. Every day for the past two weeks, I have been reminded how horrible they are:

Tue, Jun 28 vs St. Louis L 6-2
Wed, Jun 29 vs St. Louis L 5-1
Thu, Jun 30 vs St. Louis L 9-6
Fri, Jul 1 @ Atlanta L 4-0
Sat, Jul 2 @ Atlanta L 5-4
Sun, Jul 3 @ Atlanta W 5-4
Mon, Jul 4 @ Texas L 13-4
Tue, Jul 5 @ Texas L 4-2
Wed, Jul 6 @ Texas L 13-5
Thu, Jul 7 @ Boston L 10-4
Fri, Jul 8 @ Boston L 10-3
Sat, Jul 9 @ Boston L 4-0
Sun, Jul 10 @ Boston L 8-6

One win in 13 games? Ugh.

Simpsons Predictions for 2010

Remember that Simpsons episode where the fortune teller shows Lisa her future and she meets that Hugh guy? Well apparently that took place in 2010. Let's see what they got right:

The Simpsons's 2010 Predictions
Simpsons' Prediction	Reality?
Holographic trees in memory of real trees	Nope.
Soy-based snacks (Soy Pops)	Yep.
Robot librarians	Does Kindle count?
Jim Carrey having starred in 40 films	No. Only 33.
Rolling Stones "Steel Wheelchair Tour"	They announced in January 2010 that they would not tour in 2010, despite the rumors.
quint-planes	Nope.
Digitized Big Ben clock (flashing 12:00)	Nope.
Communicator watches	Do smartphones count?
Video phones (rotary)	Yep.
Robotic nuclear power plant employees	Nope.
Digital fridge	Yep.
33% higher nuclear capacity (if the fourth cooling tower at SNPP is indicative of the entire nation)	Surprisingly, kinda. Our nuclear capacity has increased since 2000.
Pepsi-sponsored education	Eh, not really.
Virtual classrooms	Sure. There are online college-level classes.
1500 cable channels	The numbers on my TV go past 1000, so I'd say it's close enough.
Prince had several more name changes	Yes.
Virtual pool/darts	Does Wii count?
Fox became a hardcore sex channel	Close enough.
6-eyed fish	Not yet.

Not bad, TV. Not bad.

The Heaviest Heavy That Ever Heavied

Great news! All Metal/Hard Rock promotion has been reduced to a single adjective: HEAVY.

Everything is heavy! It's going to sound heavy! It's heavier than the last one! Heavy! Has the word "heavy" been ruined for you yet? No? Then keep reading!

SOUNDGARDEN Guitarist On New Album: 'The Vibe Of The Songs Is Definitely Very Heavy'

Well that clears everything up, doesn't it??

TESTAMENT Bassist On New Album: 'It's Coming To Be, And It's Heavy As S**t'

Okay okay I get it. You don't know what the album sounds like, do you?

EVANESCENCE Singer: New Album Is 'Probably The Heaviest Record We've Ever Done'

Gah! Choose a new word!

SEBASTIAN BACH Says His New Album Cover Is 'As Heavy As Rock 'N' Roll Can Be'

Sigh. At least no one is using it as a verb.

"We've decided that we wanna heavy it up a little bit on this next record"

Well, at least they're calling the music heavy and not just calling anything and everything heavy.

SLIPKNOT Singer Says Two Minutes Of Silence For Fallen Bassist Will Be 'Pretty Heavy' 

AHGHGHAHGAHG