My Day of Jury Duty

I served jury duty the other day. I kept some notes about the process:

8:30a
When going through security I removed my steel toe boots to go through the metal detector. After passing through without setting off the alarm, the guard told me I must have shoes on. I said, "They're steel toed. They'll set the alarm off." "You must have shoes." "They will set the alarm off. Because of the steel." "No shoes." I went back through without setting the alarm off, put my boots on, walked back through, this time setting the alarm off, and the security guard fucking wanded me. Fucking moron.

9:00a
Court orientation video starring Datelines's Lea Thompson.

9:20a
"if you so choose to do so"

9:25a
"I didn't bring cash or credit cards for lunch. What do I do?" Starve.

9:35a
Falling asleep and hungry. There are vending machines but all I have is a $10 bill.

10:40a
They put the World Cup on in the back of the room. Côte d'Ivoire v. Portugal.

11:07a
Number called.

12:00p
Chosen for jury.

4:00p
Rendered verdict. (Not guilty.)

4:30p
Received cool $15.