10 Healthiest "Fast Food" Places Article: Why news is stupid

10 Healthiest Fast Food Restaurants - from WBBM in Chicago

They are:

1. Pantera Bread


2. Jason's Deli


3. Au Bon Pain


4. Noodles and Company


5. Corner Bakery Café


6. Chipotle


7. Atlanta Bread


8. McDonald's


9. Einstein Bros.


10. Taco Del Mar

This article is all kinds of stupid. So, here we go:

First of all, Pan(t)era Bread, Jason's Deli, Au Bon Pain, Noodles and Company, Corner Bakery, Atlanta Bread, and possibly Einstein Bros, are all NOT fast food. They are what the soulless corporate restauranteurs call quick casual. When I worked at Pei Wei, they made a big deal to the cashiers that we identify the restaurant as quick casual and not fast food or even a casual restaurant. Fast food places are like McDonald's and Popeyes. You order at a counter, the food is not necessarily made-to-order, and there is no table service. And it's cheap. Casual dining is like TGI Friday's or Applebees (ugh). At casual restaurants, you sit down, there is a waiter (unless it's Chutzpah, then they just say there's a waiter), and you don't have to dress in a tuxedo and wipe your mouth with $100 bills. As the name implies, quick casual is the ground between fast food and casual. Some have some kind of table service. At Pei Wei, for instance, you order at a counter, then have a seat and your food comes to you. So it is with most of the places on their "fast food" list.

So, now we have the list down to 3 places, McDonald's, Taco Del Mar, and Chipotle.

I guess I have nothing to really complain about Chipotle and Taco Del Mar, the latter of which I have never been to. Yeah, they do healthy-ish stuff I guess. Good work. Who cares?

Now finally we're at the elephant in the room: McDonald's. The article says:

Among the big burger-based chains, McDonald's is leading the way in overhauling its menu to offer more heart and waist-friendly fare. Take the Happy Meals, which you can order with a side of apple dippers (with low-fat caramel) instead of fries and low-fat milk or fruit juice instead of soda. And if you have to have fries, McDonald's are made in a healthy canola-blend oil and come in at just 230 calories for a small. The Grilled Chicken Classic sandwich and wraps are healthy choices, too (just skip the mayo or sauce). And our whole panel commends McDonald's for spelling out the nutritional information right on the back of its tray liners.

:deep breath:

I'm sure ANY fast food restaurant is fine IF YOU GET A KIDS MEAL. Especially if you eat FRUIT instead of FRIES. But it's okay because the fries cooked in healthy-ish oil. (Note the phrase canola-blend in the article.) Oh yeah and as long as you make adjustments you can eat the gilled chicken, too... JUST LIKE ANYWHERE ELSE. Oh and if all you have is a SNACK-SIZED ITEM it's healthy, too!

Oh and kudos for printing your nutritional info on the tray liners (not to mention on the bottom of the sandwich boxes and back of the fry containers). You know, by the time you see the nutritional info, IT'S TOO LATE! You've already ordered!

So, why did they put McDonald's on the list? To get people to go "holy fuck, read this article! It says McDonald's is healthy." And then you read the article. This is a common tactic with top ten-style "news" "articles." They will always put one more or less outrageous one in there to generate a buzz and get people to refer others to the article and talk about it.

Shit, it worked.

Well anyway, someone let me know when they find the other 7 healthy places. I have a few suggestions: Wendy's (if you get a kid's meal and don't finish it), Burger King (if you have them hold the mayo, cheese, and burger, and you don't finish your fries), KFC (you can't gain any calories if you've thrown it up, can you?), Quiznos (because subs are always healthy, right?)....