So, Quiznos has this new sandwich thing called the Toasty Torpedo. In the commercial, it comes in its own Toasy Torpedo bag. In real life, it comes wrapped in disappointment. And sincec it's so long it kind of bends in the plastic bag when you get it to go. And no, the oven doesn't try to come on to you when you order it.
What Quiznos is trying to do is compete with Subway's $5 Foot Long promotion with a $4 longer-than-a-foot-sub thing. How do they do it? With a breadstick, of course. Yeah, the Toasty Torpedo thing comes on something about the size of a breadstick, only it is indeed over a foot long. I was going to do all the math but some guy other guy did it already.
The gist is: At Quiznos, you'll pay 25% less money than you will at Subway for 45% less food (by volume). Plus at Subway you can decide what you want on the sandwich. What a novel concept.
I got some kind of beef and bacon Torpedo thing. It tastes like everything else at Quiznos.
Also, apparently there is a subliminal periscope coming out of the fire in the commercial.
Since I used to work at Quiznos, I tend to try all their new things, mostly to figure out their tricks. Remember the 5 Meat Stack? It's just an Italian with turkey. I was worried they stole my Barnyard Brawl* that I invented there. Just as long as they don't come out with my Zyklon Beef (the recipe for which will not be disclosed) any time soon, or ever, I'll be happy. (Granted they don't carry half the ingredients anymore anyway.) The bread bowls (that have since failed) they did steal from me: I would take the part of the bread we cut off, scoop out some of the bread inside, toast it, and fill it with soup. No spoon necessary.
I remember way back when Quiznos was good. Then (as I came to find out from talking to the owner of the one I worked at) Quiznos Corporate got greedy and decided to get as much money out of the franchise owners as possible. Quiznos used to have quality food at a higher-than-average price. Then they started to find cheaper and cheaper vendors with crappier and crappier food. But due to the way the franchises are set up, the owners are required to buy food from the specific vendors through Quiznos Corporate. Then they come out with new "events" something like 8 times a year. For example: Prime Rib, the Santa Fe sandwiches, the Ultimate BLT, Sammies, the Cabo Chicken, bread bowls, those terrible salads.... A lot of the new sandwiches would have for a few months had the same limited edition chipotle mayo, too.
Gradually, they'd give you less and less food for more and more money. Very few of anything Quiznos tries ever pans out for very long (other than charging more for less). I doubt their breadstick sandwich will last.
*Barnyard Brawl: Chicken chunks, deli chicken, turkey, smoked turkey, ham, black angus steak, roast beef, and bacon. I only made it once and it made me sick. Don't ever make one. EVER.
What Quiznos is trying to do is compete with Subway's $5 Foot Long promotion with a $4 longer-than-a-foot-sub thing. How do they do it? With a breadstick, of course. Yeah, the Toasty Torpedo thing comes on something about the size of a breadstick, only it is indeed over a foot long. I was going to do all the math but some guy other guy did it already.
The gist is: At Quiznos, you'll pay 25% less money than you will at Subway for 45% less food (by volume). Plus at Subway you can decide what you want on the sandwich. What a novel concept.
I got some kind of beef and bacon Torpedo thing. It tastes like everything else at Quiznos.
Also, apparently there is a subliminal periscope coming out of the fire in the commercial.
Since I used to work at Quiznos, I tend to try all their new things, mostly to figure out their tricks. Remember the 5 Meat Stack? It's just an Italian with turkey. I was worried they stole my Barnyard Brawl* that I invented there. Just as long as they don't come out with my Zyklon Beef (the recipe for which will not be disclosed) any time soon, or ever, I'll be happy. (Granted they don't carry half the ingredients anymore anyway.) The bread bowls (that have since failed) they did steal from me: I would take the part of the bread we cut off, scoop out some of the bread inside, toast it, and fill it with soup. No spoon necessary.
I remember way back when Quiznos was good. Then (as I came to find out from talking to the owner of the one I worked at) Quiznos Corporate got greedy and decided to get as much money out of the franchise owners as possible. Quiznos used to have quality food at a higher-than-average price. Then they started to find cheaper and cheaper vendors with crappier and crappier food. But due to the way the franchises are set up, the owners are required to buy food from the specific vendors through Quiznos Corporate. Then they come out with new "events" something like 8 times a year. For example: Prime Rib, the Santa Fe sandwiches, the Ultimate BLT, Sammies, the Cabo Chicken, bread bowls, those terrible salads.... A lot of the new sandwiches would have for a few months had the same limited edition chipotle mayo, too.
Gradually, they'd give you less and less food for more and more money. Very few of anything Quiznos tries ever pans out for very long (other than charging more for less). I doubt their breadstick sandwich will last.
*Barnyard Brawl: Chicken chunks, deli chicken, turkey, smoked turkey, ham, black angus steak, roast beef, and bacon. I only made it once and it made me sick. Don't ever make one. EVER.
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