Why Man vs. Wild is better than Survivorman

Yeah, yeah, this post would be more timely a few years ago. Wanna fight about it?

So, anyway, Man v. Wild is leaps and bounds better than Survivorman. Why? Because Bear Grylls just doesn't give a fuck!

Les Stroud...
...is the host of Survivorman. Basically he goes out into the wild or whatever with a handful of cameras, his harmonica, and gumption. And maybe a knife. He's alone the whole time. I'm sure he has a satellite phone or something so when his leg gets bitten off he can call for help, though. Anyway, he uses his survival techniques to get back to civilization and panders to the camera as much as possible and then plays his stupid harmonica at sundown. ...Does it bother anyone else that when he has to cross a stream or something and there's a reverse shot of him doing it, he had to cross the stream, set up the camera, hit record, go back across the stream, and then cross the stream a third time for the one that ends up in the show? It bugs me to no end. The show is generally considered to be the more "authentic" of the two shows. Feh. Who cares? This guy is my least favorite Canadian.

Bear Grylls...

...is the genius behind Man v. Wild. First of all he's British, which makes everything he does so much more intriguing! When he goes out into the wild he takes a camera crew. People got all upitty when it came out that he and his crew received some "assistance" during a few sequences on a show. But let's face it, how is a Brit going to know where to get a dead camel in the Sahara without help? Here's Bear Grylls being a "phony." Go ahead and watch it. I'll wait.

...

So who cares if there was a road right there? There could have been lava under there. You don't know.

See, the best thing about Man v. Wild is that Bear Grylls doesn't have to do any of the things he does. If he wants he could be sleeping in a hotel that night. Let that sink in. Next time you see Bear eating something strange, or drinking water from a pile of elephant shit, or drinking his own pee, or doing naked calisthenics, or shoving his head into a dead camel, or getting honey from a beehive in Mexico, then getting stung so his face swells and he can barely see while he walks across a desert, just think to yourself, "He did that for my amusement!"

Meanwhile, Les Stroud is playing his harmonica because he's a douchebag.